Your BFFs (enemies) will turn their frowns upside down (confront their own mortality) as they dance a merry jig to (run in terror from) these cheery tunes (soul-destroying funeral dirges). (Equips Pyrovision.)

Clears all sorts of blockage.

Present this ticket in Mann vs. Machine to play Mann Up Mode on an official server to earn rare items and track progress on your Tour of Duty Badge.

'Burn him with fire!' 'No, burn him with fire, then hit him with an axe!'

Present this ticket in Mann vs. Machine to play Mann Up Mode on an official server to earn rare items and track progress on your Tour of Duty Badge.

Being a device that flouts conventional scientific consensus that the molecules composing the human body must be arranged "just so", and not, for example, across a square-mile radius.

Soldiers and Demos
Can duel with katanas
For a one-hit kill

Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.

Humorously vellicating vitreous.

Amaze your friends! Impress women! Walk with a limp for life! It's grotesque!

Though it looks like a simple ten-gallon hat, this modern feat of engineering actually contains more moving parts than a level 2 Sentry Gun.

Take manual control of your Sentry Gun

Being an innovative hand-held irradiating utensil capable of producing rapid pulses of high-amplitude radiation in sufficient quantity as to immolate, maim and otherwise incapacitate the Irish.

Is an enemy player questioning your skills, personal hygiene, and/or ancestry?
Use these stylish firearms to challenge them to a duel!
See the Mann Co. Catalog for full details.

Alt-Fire: Gain increased attack power by
charging toward your enemies.

It doesn't matter how much people respect you when they're on fire.

Alt-Fire: Detonate flare.

This badge tracks your duel statistics.
Increase its level by winning duels!

This incinerator's insulator keeps your head a perfect 105 degrees, while muffling the hallucinations brought on by wearing a hat that slowly cooks your brain.

The good, the bad, and the dead.

The RoBro 3000 doesn't just watch your back in battle! Whether you're on the battlefield, out on the town, sleeping in bed or on the toilet, you'll always have a friend in the RoBro, which comes with no "OFF" switch and cannot be shut down. The RoBro even tapes everything you do, whether you want it to or not. It's not even a feature we installed on the RoBro—it's just something it does for its own mysterious reasons!

Fool your enemies into thinking you can see better! Here's the trick: You won't be able to see at all!

If you've got it, flaunt it.
If you don't, hide it under this discreet hoodie.

This hat adds spice to any occasion.

When you were a kid, all you wanted was to play the bongos. But then you grew up and, like all of us, realized you're not as good at bongos as Matthew McConaughey. Well, guess what, pal: Nobody is, or ever will be. (Equips Pyrovision.)

Being a revolutionary appliance capable of awakening the fire element phlogiston that exists in all combustible creatures, which is to say, all of them.

Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.

For hundreds of years, women have enjoyed all the perks of being a witch (making potions, having warts, getting burned alive) while men stood on the sidelines. No longer! Break through that haunted glass ceiling with the Crone's Dome.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You'll stop them dead wearing this stylish traffic cone.

Mind scented?

Turn routine melee attacks into environmental hate crimes with this adorable mask.

Unlike other survival packs, this handy last-aid kit rightly assumes that the moment you're in a survival situation, you are going to die. Just pull the ripcord to inflate the minature coffin into a standard corpse-sized one that you can die right into.

Used to open locked supply crates.

Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.

The next time someone accuses you of not being a real wizard because you refuse to (read: can't) do spells, poke them in the eye with this magically blinding pointy hat and run.

This fur-lined coat/sweater combo comes with Mann Co.'s guarantee that, as with all of our products, at least three endangered species went extinct during the making of this product. Note: fur is synthetic.

If aliens ever invaded Badlands and used their special alien powers to make all of our heads look like alien heads, this is a scientifically accurate representation of what Pyro would look like. We tried doing similar mock-ups with the rest of the TF team, but we finished one of Heavy and haven't stopped crying and vomiting long enough to do the other ones.

Being an executioner is a lot more than just killing people. Sometimes you get to torture them first. Tip: To make things interesting, why not torture someone until they yell the secret word? (Hint: the secret word is "Freedom".)

Did you know that fire can melt metal? Like, say you were fighting an army of robots. You could melt them! With fire! It's true! Just a fun little fact we learned today. We don't really see any practical application for the information, but it's good to learn.

The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?

And kill, and break, and smash, and bite. Mainly maim, though.

Add a custom decal to eligible items.

At least he's still telling you to burn things.

Spiky end goes into other man.

This terrifying (innocuous) witching cap was found by the all-powerful (mediocre) wizard Merasmus in the depths of the Hades Spiral (right near the entrance of the Hades Spiral).

After a long day of burning scouts.

Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.

Scare your friends into thinking you're carrying around deadly grenades. Bask in their relief when it turns out they're only harmless human skulls.

OSX represent!

The most distinguished tape-on fire-retardant facial hair available, for the discerning gentleman of conflagration.

Being a repository of the foundational ingredients necessary for a body to live a life of leisure in space—namely one part oxygen, one part mercury, and twelve parts laudanum.

Slay it with flowers.

Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.

Being an invention that achieves the humanitarian goal of all great men of science, from Lord Holland to the Duke of Wellington, to allow a true gentle-man to smoke a pipe in space.

Take a hike, dogs--there's a new Man's Best Friend on the market. Your pet ghost is guaranteed to be loyal (he's dead! He doesn't know anybody else!), great around children (he used to be one!), and house-trained (ghosts don't poop).

The perfect accessory for maintaining anonymity while stealing rings from midgets.

Help your enemies celebrate Day of the Dead by wearing this hat and then killing them.

Just a like the Soldier's actual grenades, these shiny glass baubles are purely ornamental.

Remind those ungrateful bastards how valuable your Medic skills are by striking a heroic pose accompanied by an angelic choir, beams of divine light, and a flock of doves.

Give your teacher the gift of insight, paper clip and rubber band included.

Equip this item in your Action Slot and press the Action button to tell your victims you are making a Replay of their pathetic demise to share with everyone.

Just because you're an unknowable enigma doesn't mean you shouldn't bundle up. Remember what your mom told you... if you even HAVE one, you inscrutable person of mystery!

Being a boon to tree-fellers, backwoodsmen and atom-splitters the world over, this miraculous matter-hewing device burns each individual molecule as it cleaves it.

Since America was founded over ten thousand years ago, the noble eagle has been its symbol of freedom. Show people how much you like freedom by clubbing them senseless with a golden eagle on a stick, just like Kofi Annan.

Your Mann Up progress through Operation Steel Trap is saved on this badge.

OSX represent!

I'm the writer, the director, and the star.

Linux represent!

Being an innovative hand-held irradiating utensil capable of producing rapid pulses of high-amplitude radiation in sufficient quantity as to immolate, maim and otherwise incapacitate the Irish.

Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat. (Equips Pyrovision.)

Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective.

Being a maths-enhancing hairpiece that endeavors to heighten the senses of any soul, be he a gentle-man of leisure deserving of such a thing, or a loathsome tiller of the earth of whom a beating would not go unwarranted.

Pyro wears this in tribute to the many firefighters who have perished trying to quell his flames.

'If ye gaze upon one tome-themed badge this year, MAKE IT NOT THIS ONE!' - Merasmus the Magician'

Getting hit by a fish has got to be humiliating.

This cute little guy was once the scourge of humanity in another time and place. Now he's content to ride on your head and keep the sun off.

Your Mann Up progress through Operation Oil Spill is saved on this badge.

Any day can be the Fourth of July if you just believe. It also helps if you have a bag of fireworks – like the Pyrotechnic Tote - you can set off to distract people when they try to tell you that you can't take the day off to eat hot dogs and get drunk at the park. Is this not America, Samuel? Do we not have the freedom to vomit in our own shoes?

We gave peace a chance. It didn't work.

Custom decals can be applied to this item.

This impermeable, gas-tight hood keeps your head at a comfortable 350-degree temperature throughout the day. The tinted visor lets you sweat off that unsightly face fat in the privacy of your own sweltering hell.

Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed with fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire). (Equips Pyrovision.)

Slay-bells will be ringing in the slow-roasted ears of your burn victims.

These lovely festive ornaments are so beautifully crafted, your enemies are going to want to see them close up. Indulge them by batting those fragile glass bulbs into their eyes at 90 mph.

Packs a devastating punch with a hint of Mars dust.

No ritual that results in the senseless destruction of human life at the behest of an angry god is complete without a Tribal Bones necklace. Like all of our mothers weirdly happened to say, if you're going to do some human sacrifices, you gotta look the part.

Even more ghastly.

Celebrate the Demo's most serious childhood injury with this gruesome mask based on his missing, haunted eye.

While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and damage taken will be mini-crits.

It's the perfect gift for the man who has everything: an icicle driven into their back. Even rich people can't buy that in stores.

It's a well-known fact that we only use 10% of our brain power. Which means there's a 90% chance that anything you do to your brain is only going to make you smarter. Like letting it float around in plutonium. Let's be honest, doing nothing isn't making you any smarter.

Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash mini-crits!

He had one all along...

Everyone will wonder what the secret meaning of this mysterious hat is. The secret is you're an idiot.

Used to open locked supply crates.

Are you man enough to wear this brightly colored cowboy hat? Just in case you're not, we slapped a half-a-skull on it to ease you into the exciting new world of wearing this hat.

Winds of Gravel Pit
Scout brings on his fan!
You are marked for death

Toting around a 150-kilogram minigun gives those forearm muscles a nice workout. Show them off with these rolled-sleeved shirts, in your choice of argyle, lumberjack, rugby stripe or vertical pinstripe.

People will think you're in the Navy. But the joke is on them, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT! That is just one possible benefit of this tricky hat.

Improves upon Mother Nature's original
design for volcanos by increasing portability.
Modern science is unable to explain exactly
where the lava is coming from.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

Finally live your life like a candle in the wind. (Wind not included.)

Brown paper never looked so mildly disturbing.

Even though you were late to the party, you were still the life of it.

Your Mann Up progress through Operation Gear Grinder is saved on this badge.

Add a custom decal to eligible items.