This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.

The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this crate.

Pure moustachium, harvested from all-natural sources deep within the Australian outback.

Pure moustachium, harvested from all-natural sources deep within the Australian outback.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

Take a knee, boys. Now, any helmet will protect your head when you're wearing it – but what about when you're NOT? The Bolt Action Blitzer solves that problem by securing it to your skull with three one-and-a-quarter-inch coarse-thread galvanized crown bolts. Make sure it's in your favorite color, 'cause you WILL be buried in it.

Way way more ghastly.

You never took a break from cp_foundry, and now you can prove it with the actual steam whistle used to call the breaks you never took!

Celebrate the Demo's most serious childhood injury with this gruesome mask based on his missing, haunted eye.

Brown paper never looked so mildly disturbing.

He had one all along...

This terrifying (innocuous) witching cap was found by the all-powerful (mediocre) wizard Merasmus in the depths of the Hades Spiral (right near the entrance of the Hades Spiral).

Turn routine melee attacks into environmental hate crimes with this adorable mask.

Express your undying hatred for the living.

Only the finest leather hats come with tattoos and piercings.

From another era.

This cute little guy was once the scourge of humanity in another time and place. Now he's content to ride on your head and keep the sun off.

Elegant simplicity and old-world charm combine with the intoxicating aromas of methyl alcohol and gasoline. Do not wear in unventilated areas.

This humble hat pile of one tells the world that there are more important things in life than money. Like for instance not having any.

Little known fact: knights in chess travel over other pieces by rocket jumping.

Earned by completing 5 objectives in 'The Great Steam Treasure Hunt'

The next time someone accuses you of not being a real wizard because you refuse to (read: can't) do spells, poke them in the eye with this magically blinding pointy hat and run.

Given to generous souls who have donated to community map makers. The effect will only be visible while on a map that has been donated towards!

Ah, another Spy. Well, I know just what to do with you. SLYTHERIN!

'If ye gaze upon one tome-themed badge this year, MAKE IT NOT THIS ONE!' - Merasmus the Magician'

Harness the seductive black magic of Hollywood with this commemorative clapper board—the same used by actual movie directors. Now YOU can tell Ryan Reynolds what to do!

This badge tracks your duel statistics.
Increase its level by winning duels!

Even though you were late to the party, you were still the life of it.

Tenth Most Famous Reindeer? Not for long! Reindoonicorn may have hit rock bottom after being benched in favor of a mutant with a bioluminescent growth on his nose, but those decades spent bouncing from one halfway house to the next have given him all the grit and determination he needs to get back on top! That and the fact that he's recently been seen hanging around with nine heavily armed lunatics practically guarantees that this is one reindeer to watch out for.

Because it's cheaper and less painful than a tattoo.

Custom decals can be applied to this item.

The perfect winter accessory for those times when your holiday fun escalates into a high-casualty firefight. 90% more blood-absorbent than any other scarf on the market!

And kill, and break, and smash, and bite. Mainly maim, though.

The carpets will run red with enemy blood thanks to this dapper Second Annual Saxxy Awards ensemble.

Dear Princess Celestia: Today I learned an important lesson about kill assists.

With these beauties, I can look good while dropping the bass, or Scouts.

We're getting rolled, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.

Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.

Equip this item in your Action Slot and press the Action button to tell your victims you are making a Replay of their pathetic demise to share with everyone.

Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.

Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash mini-crits!

The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?

While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and damage taken will be mini-crits.

These lovely festive ornaments are so beautifully crafted, your enemies are going to want to see them close up. Indulge them by batting those fragile glass bulbs into their eyes at 90 mph.

We gave peace a chance. It didn't work.

Custom decals can be applied to this item.

Since America was founded over ten thousand years ago, the noble eagle has been its symbol of freedom. Show people how much you like freedom by clubbing them senseless with a golden eagle on a stick, just like Kofi Annan.

So nice of the Spy to lend an arm...

LANTURN used BODY SLAM! It's super effective! You fainted!

MAGIKARP used SPLASH!... Nothing Happened

Critically panned.

You'll be batting a thousand (skulls in) when you don this red piece of plastic!

Stick it to Major League Baseball by not wearing their hat the right way.

These steel-toed dogs were scientifically engineered (in a wind tunnel) by America's foremost authorities on mouth-kicking to perfectly fit the inside of an idiot's mouth.

This matching henchman's boots, belt and pocket combo lets you run away from things, keep your pants up and carry what's left of your dignity at the same time.

These curved titanium shock-absorbers connect to the base of your spine and run down the inside of both legs. Now when you fall from a great height, the agony of impact will be absorbed, then conveniently redistributed to your whole pain-wracked body.

That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on here even we don't know what to make of it.

Walkin' down the street to the hardcore beat while his Mann Co. boom vibrates the concrete.

Read a book – or at least look like you can – with this vintage educational ensemble. Be the B.M.O.C. (Big Mouth on Campus) of your own make-believe Ivy League!

For a brief stint in high school, Scout joined the track team in one of his many schemes to pick up girls. He was kicked off the team after three days when everyone realized he was 23-years-old and also not enrolled in the school.

Show Chinese organized crime gangs who's boss by wearing their cool tattoos without actually participating in any of their totally illegal criminal conspiracies! Note: DO NOT actually show your new tattoo to ANYONE in a Chinese organized crime gang.

Keep your hands warm and your fingers freezing with these paintable leather and suede fingerless gloves.

Isn't anyone gonna ask "What is it with the glasses?" With these, I can see!

Each scoped headshot decreases the weapon's charge time.
A scoped body shot or miss reduces the bonus.

Heads will roll.

This controversial bolt-action beaut is banned in thousands of countries, and with good reason: You could really hurt someone with this thing.

Rain a hail of bullets upon your foes with The TRIPLE R!

This is a hidden treasure of the Kokiri, but you can borrow it for a while.

Experience the vicarious thrill of the tough-talking, dame-seducing gumshoe by reading the collected works of Raymond Chandler. Then take a break from all that and try on this novelty-sized cartoon dog hat.

Any old sap can pull teeth from a dead crocodile.
It takes a man to pull teeth from a live one.

Perfect for exploring the outback and the inside of people's heads.

Melt into the wintry shadows with The Cold Killer, assuming the shadows are a mixture of white, red, brown and khaki.

If you run out of ammo, you can borrow some of mine.

Is that a miniature Spy in your pocket, or are you just happy to OH GOD STOP HITTING ME!

Argyle. Pipe-smoking. Individually, they make you look like an idiot. Together, they make you look smart AND stylish! Just like Umberto Eco!

The good, the bad, and the dead.

The Owl Who Lived.

A special no-damage rocket launcher for learning
rocket jump tricks and patterns.

With buff, some damage
Dished out by nearby teammates
Comes back as healing

Magic is fun. So are deady laser beams.

A Haiku for war.
To defeat one's enemies.
Honor the crocket.

After complaints that obstructed vision was affecting his performance, Soldier slapped some goggles on a helmet and charged back into the fray. His performance did not improve, but on the upside, everyone has stopped expecting anything from him.

Our lawyers say 'YES! YES!'

"Daddy, what does your skull look like?" "I guess we'll never know, thanks to my stupid face." Pow-zoop! Zipperface! Never look like an idiot in front of your kids again!

Attention, tramps! Are you MAN enough to carry around cans full of expired soup? Are you CRAZY enough to pretend they're grenades? Are you HUNGRY enough to probably eat the soup later, when nobody's looking? We bet yes!

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug. Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something in your mouth that is on fire.

Just a like the Soldier's actual grenades, these shiny glass baubles are purely ornamental.

Amaze your friends! Impress women! Walk with a limp for life! It's grotesque!

A special no-damage stickybomb launcher for learning stickybomb jump tricks and patterns.

High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it...

One-eyed Scottish drunk
Dons his helmet for battle
Blacks out, misses war

This shoulder-mounted feathered friend comes in any color you like, and is so full of whiskey it couldn't fly off if it wanted to. Great to have around if you decide to eat it—just turn your head and bite!

Your enemies will clap in delight at the cartoonish innocence of these old-timey bombs, making it that much sweeter when you blow their arms off.

Remember that time you met the wisest robot in the world? And tore his beard off and stole his stupid pipe? Because the police are here and they want to talk to you.

Splash the pot with all you got.

ÜberCharge provides 75% resistance to a selected damage type. You are healed for 25% of the matched incoming damage on your heal target.

'Do no harm.'

The men in his unit called him 'The Bavarian Butcher'

Whether you're a 17th century plague doctor, a professional wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño poppers.

Meet the robot apocalypse in style with this puckish number, perfect for infiltrating the sentient mother computer located in the Swiss pavilion at Epcot Center.

Handy for finding your vapors, entities, and slimers.

Before Archimedes came into the Medic's care, he made his living through wedding dovery. A lucrative trade, but he always felt something was missing. He looks back on the day that the Medic stole that catering van during the prime minister's wedding as the best day of his life. He's been burrowing into the chests of unwitting patients ever since.

Comes in "Flu" and "Fever" styles, depending on the epidemic you'd most like to embody while on vacation.

Scrub in... things are about to get messy.

In the time it takes you to read this description, I've already ubered a heavy, captured your base, solved a crime, and smoked three pipes.

Mecha-Medes first appeared in Archimedes' Flights of Fantasy #314 when Archimedes accidentally fell off a table into a parallel world, met his robot double, ate some seeds, squawked in terror at a half-buried Statue of Liberty, then flew into a patio door.

This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.

Just like steampunk ruined reading, the steampipe destroys the harmless pleasure of smoking by tarting it up with a lot of bolts and dials and Nikolai Teslas. Comes with period-appropriate Gary Oldman Dracula glasses!

Bowties are, and always will be cool.

Remind those ungrateful bastards how valuable your Medic skills are by striking a heroic pose accompanied by an angelic choir, beams of divine light, and a flock of doves.

Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

Turn every one of your fingers into the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! That's over nineteen Horsemen of the Apocalypse per glove! The most Apocalypse we've ever dared attach to one hand!

The first time the sun glints off of this manly mane of teased, tousled trusses, you'll wonder why you didn't get hair implants from your lower back and buttocks years ago.

This dashing number will help you commit crimes of all kinds—except against fashion.

This hat was made of bear hands.
That bear was killed with bare hands.

Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame temperature of 3100 °C.

Team Fortress 2: Sandvich Eater

Toting around a 150-kilogram minigun gives those forearm muscles a nice workout. Show them off with these rolled-sleeved shirts, in your choice of argyle, lumberjack, rugby stripe or vertical pinstripe.

The handle of this hand-forged survival knife is crammed with all of the things you'll need to survive in the wilderness, i.e. a pack of matches and three raisins.

Wee! It's summer! We're having fun!
AH GOD IT'S BOLTED TO HIS HEAD!

Being a revolutionary appliance capable of awakening the fire element phlogiston that exists in all combustible creatures, which is to say, all of them.

Being a device that flouts conventional scientific consensus that the molecules composing the human body must be arranged "just so", and not, for example, across a square-mile radius.

Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat. (Equips Pyrovision.)

Y'all might be flame retardant, but ya sure ain't muffinproof!

Packs a devastating punch with a hint of Mars dust.

Being a boon to tree-fellers, backwoodsmen and atom-splitters the world over, this miraculous matter-hewing device burns each individual molecule as it cleaves it.

For centuries, mankind has struggled in vain to answer the question of who built this city on rock and roll. This hat/hair combo finally answers that age-old mystery: It was you!

Like all identical twins, you were born from a cyst in your sibling's neck, grew into an evil head, and eventually sloughed off your twin in your own exact duplicate body. Now you can't tell each other apart! Take out the guesswork with this identifying demonic skullcap.

Help your enemies celebrate Day of the Dead by wearing this hat and then killing them.

Hey, who turned out the lights?

Being a repository of the foundational ingredients necessary for a body to live a life of leisure in space—namely one part oxygen, one part mercury, and twelve parts laudanum.

No ritual that results in the senseless destruction of human life at the behest of an angry god is complete without a Tribal Bones necklace. Like all of our mothers weirdly happened to say, if you're going to do some human sacrifices, you gotta look the part.

Any day can be the Fourth of July if you just believe. It also helps if you have a bag of fireworks – like the Pyrotechnic Tote - you can set off to distract people when they try to tell you that you can't take the day off to eat hot dogs and get drunk at the park. Is this not America, Samuel? Do we not have the freedom to vomit in our own shoes?

Did you know that fire can melt metal? Like, say you were fighting an army of robots. You could melt them! With fire! It's true! Just a fun little fact we learned today. We don't really see any practical application for the information, but it's good to learn.

'Burn him with fire!' 'No, burn him with fire, then hit him with an axe!'

This impermeable, gas-tight hood keeps your head at a comfortable 350-degree temperature throughout the day. The tinted visor lets you sweat off that unsightly face fat in the privacy of your own sweltering hell.

There we were, assembling some collars, when we thought, "Yes, they're cool. But what's missing?" That's when we realized: lots of sharp bits welded onto the round bits.

Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only your electrician knows for sure!

These digital eye implants will let you check the weather, monitor the stock market and look up cures for infection caused by jamming unclean hunks of metal into your eye sockets.

Six bullets... More than enough to kill anything that moves.

A rose by any other name, is just as likely to stab you in the back.

Every merc's crazy for a sharp-dressed man. With 15th century murder-knives extruding from his cufflinks.

Be the invisible envy of the next gaming convention or assassination expo!

It really is a chapeau. It's just in disguise.

When you need to go deep undercover, one disguise is not enough! Put a hood over that ski-mask, then wrap a towel around it. Boldly announce to the world that you are inconspicuous!

Trick your friends into thinking your enormous metal hat is a smaller, different hat. If this was actually illegal it would be the PERFECT CRIME.

We're on a mission from God.

Well, me and the lord, we have an understanding...

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.

Go incognito as a handsome man and enjoy the secret benefits of the exceptionally attractive. High-paying jobs! Erotic encounters! Free bread sticks at the Olive Garden! Eat as many as you can, though, because eventually the mask will rot off, leaving you uglier than before.

A gentleman always has a flower handy to drop on an opponent's grave.

So mysterious. So deadly. So nearsighted.

It's casual business up front, and more casual business in the back. Now: check those sides. Yep. It's casual business there too. Cover all the casual business bases with this unbuttoned suit jacket.

Trick your enemies into thinking you are the doorman at a classy hotel. By the time they get wise, you'll be miles away with their car and luggage, rummaging through their clothes and laughing at them.

GET OVER HERE, SENTRY!

Built from a Dalek casing, this baby is ready to EXTERMINATE Medics & Spies!

We ran out of coal...

Take manual control of your Sentry Gun

Being a tool that eliminates exertion by harnessing the electrical discharges of thunder-storms for the vigorous coercion of bolts, nuts, pipes and similar into their rightful places. May also be used to bludgeon.

The old West never saw this kind of class.

If you're a rugged coal miner like us, you know the value of throwing away your mining equipment and mining in the nude so people know how tough you are. Finally there's a version for the office worker to not wear while nudely analyzing spreadsheets.

Being prescription shooting goggles that endeavor to relieve the eye from the reflection off one's gun barrel whilst also correcting Diplopia, Strabismus, 'Nervous Vision', Early-Onset Old-Eye, and several other varieties of structural defect.

This handsome leather cylinder improves on the diary in every way. Do you have secret thoughts? Write 'em down, ball 'em up, and stuff 'em in the tube. It's incredibly easy to find a thought when you need it, too. Simply empty out the tube and there they all are. You're just one simple unballing away from remembering it.

Keep one eye on your enemy and
the other one on everything else.