You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

The handle of this hand-forged survival knife is crammed with all of the things you'll need to survive in the wilderness, i.e. a pack of matches and three raisins.

I'm the writer, the director, and the star.

Take a knee, boys. Now, any helmet will protect your head when you're wearing it – but what about when you're NOT? The Bolt Action Blitzer solves that problem by securing it to your skull with three one-and-a-quarter-inch coarse-thread galvanized crown bolts. Make sure it's in your favorite color, 'cause you WILL be buried in it.

Even more ghastly.

Way way more ghastly.

You never took a break from cp_foundry, and now you can prove it with the actual steam whistle used to call the breaks you never took!

Celebrate the Demo's most serious childhood injury with this gruesome mask based on his missing, haunted eye.

Brown paper never looked so mildly disturbing.

He had one all along...

This terrifying (innocuous) witching cap was found by the all-powerful (mediocre) wizard Merasmus in the depths of the Hades Spiral (right near the entrance of the Hades Spiral).

Turn routine melee attacks into environmental hate crimes with this adorable mask.

Break news, spirits and heads.

From another era.

[Insert Favorite Regional Team Here]

Because a Gentleman is not one without one.

This cute little guy was once the scourge of humanity in another time and place. Now he's content to ride on your head and keep the sun off.

Ask any daredevil what they strap onto their heads before getting shot out of a cannon and the answer will be the same: a glassy, unfocused stare from years of head trauma. Head trauma that could have been prevented with this sharp-looking crash helmet.

Little known fact: knights in chess travel over other pieces by rocket jumping.

'If ye gaze upon one tome-themed badge this year, MAKE IT NOT THIS ONE!' - Merasmus the Magician'

These cheery (but terrifying!) balloons are made from the actual inflated faces of ghosts. Order now, before those uppity ghost rights activists get wind of this and shut it down.

This badge tracks your duel statistics.
Increase its level by winning duels!

Even though you were late to the party, you were still the life of it.

Like all identical twins, you were born from a cyst in your sibling's neck, grew into an evil head, and eventually sloughed off your twin in your own exact duplicate body. Now you can't tell each other apart! Take out the guesswork with this identifying demonic skullcap.

Give your teacher the gift of insight, paper clip and rubber band included.

Linux represent!

Your Mann Up progress through Operation Steel Trap is saved on this badge.

These curved titanium shock-absorbers connect to the base of your spine and run down the inside of both legs. Now when you fall from a great height, the agony of impact will be absorbed, then conveniently redistributed to your whole pain-wracked body.

The RoBro 3000 doesn't just watch your back in battle! Whether you're on the battlefield, out on the town, sleeping in bed or on the toilet, you'll always have a friend in the RoBro, which comes with no "OFF" switch and cannot be shut down. The RoBro even tapes everything you do, whether you want it to or not. It's not even a feature we installed on the RoBro—it's just something it does for its own mysterious reasons!

Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective.

<no employment record found>

Experience the vicarious thrill of the tough-talking, dame-seducing gumshoe by reading the collected works of Raymond Chandler. Then take a break from all that and try on this novelty-sized cartoon dog hat.

And kill, and break, and smash, and bite. Mainly maim, though.

Have an actual ghost of Mann Co.'s first doomed monkeynaut expedition haunt your shoulder! Unlike the many other doomed monkeynaut expeditions undertaken by Mann Co., Operation Banana Catapult was unique in that no space shuttles were even used.

Go incognito as a handsome man and enjoy the secret benefits of the exceptionally attractive. High-paying jobs! Erotic encounters! Free bread sticks at the Olive Garden! Eat as many as you can, though, because eventually the mask will rot off, leaving you uglier than before.

Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.

Equip this item in your Action Slot and press the Action button to tell your victims you are making a Replay of their pathetic demise to share with everyone.

Is an enemy player questioning your skills, personal hygiene, and/or ancestry?
Use these stylish firearms to challenge them to a duel!
See the Mann Co. Catalog for full details.

Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.

Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash mini-crits!

Mann Co.'s latest in high attitude
break-action personal defense.

Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.

The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?

While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and damage taken will be mini-crits.

These lovely festive ornaments are so beautifully crafted, your enemies are going to want to see them close up. Indulge them by batting those fragile glass bulbs into their eyes at 90 mph.

Winds of Gravel Pit
Scout brings on his fan!
You are marked for death

Getting hit by a fish has got to be humiliating.

Spiky end goes into other man.

Getting hit by a fish has got to be humiliating.

Straight outta control point.

For a brief stint in high school, Scout joined the track team in one of his many schemes to pick up girls. He was kicked off the team after three days when everyone realized he was 23-years-old and also not enrolled in the school.

Each scoped headshot decreases the weapon's charge time.
A scoped body shot or miss reduces the bonus.

Heads will roll.

A polite, efficient hat to wear when killing everyone you meet.

Is an enemy player questioning your skills, personal hygiene, and/or ancestry?
Use these stylish firearms to challenge them to a duel!
See the Mann Co. Catalog for full details.

Are you man enough to wear this brightly colored cowboy hat? Just in case you're not, we slapped a half-a-skull on it to ease you into the exciting new world of wearing this hat.

A special no-damage rocket launcher for learning
rocket jump tricks and patterns.

With buff, some damage
Dished out by nearby teammates
Comes back as healing

Provides a defensive buff that protects
nearby team members from crits
and blocks 35% of incoming damage.
Rage increases through damage taken.

Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.

Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.

Soldiers and Demos
Can duel with katanas
For a one-hit kill

ÜberCharge provides 75% resistance to a selected damage type. You are healed for 25% of the matched incoming damage on your heal target.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

This hat does not in any way, shape, or form, promote smoking or gambling.

The grand achievement of
Victorian military fashion.

Our lawyers say 'YES! YES!'

"Daddy, what does your skull look like?" "I guess we'll never know, thanks to my stupid face." Pow-zoop! Zipperface! Never look like an idiot in front of your kids again!

Throughout the history of civilization, the white beard has come to symbolize wisdom and status. Show the world it's possible to be bearded AND stupid with this Heavy- and Soldier-specific face-nest. Shove it, civilization!

Amaze your friends! Impress women! Walk with a limp for life! It's grotesque!

Alt-Fire: Gain increased attack power by
charging toward your enemies.

A special no-damage stickybomb launcher for learning stickybomb jump tricks and patterns.

A special no-damage stickybomb launcher for learning stickybomb jump tricks and patterns.

Your enemies will think you're making peace, right up until the terrifying moment that their hand is very seriously cut! Here's the trick: It's a broken bottle!

High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it...

This weapon has a large melee range.
Gives increased speed and health
with every head you take.

This weapon has a large melee range.
Gives increased speed and health
with every head you take.

Demo is already a lot like Santa Claus. They both have extensive knowledge of modern explosives, they both hate Judy Garland, and now, they can both sport a charming beard and corn cob pipe.

Splash the pot with all you got.

Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum of +10%

Can't overheal.
Move at the speed of any faster heal target.

'Do no harm.'

Ye hae ne'er glympsed a hatte whych be
as grimm as yonder hatte ye glympse upon.

Whether you're trepanning a skull to let out the sickness ghosts or attaching enough leeches to a patient that they'll pass out from blood loss before you cut off any suspicious-looking limbs, this dapper ruffed shirt and coat will assure your patients that they came to the right place for their dangerously insane 18th century medicine.

Remind those ungrateful bastards how valuable your Medic skills are by striking a heroic pose accompanied by an angelic choir, beams of divine light, and a flock of doves.

High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it...

While under the effects, move speed is increased,
damage done and taken will be mini-crits,
and the player may only use melee weapons.

Who needs bread?

Vossler Industries All-Natural Artificial-Fish-Derived Food Product

Be the life of the war party with these laugh-inducing punch-mittens.

Roast this steel ushanka in the fire and place it on your head for sustained warmth throughout the day. Make sure to come up with an impressive sounding fake anecdote for your third degree burns!

This hat was made of bear hands.
That bear was killed with bare hands.

Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed with fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire). (Equips Pyrovision.)

Being a device that flouts conventional scientific consensus that the molecules composing the human body must be arranged "just so", and not, for example, across a square-mile radius.

Alt-Fire: Detonate flare.

Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat. (Equips Pyrovision.)

A special no-damage rocket launcher for learning
rocket jump tricks and patterns.

Improves upon Mother Nature's original
design for volcanos by increasing portability.
Modern science is unable to explain exactly
where the lava is coming from.

For centuries, mankind has struggled in vain to answer the question of who built this city on rock and roll. This hat/hair combo finally answers that age-old mystery: It was you!

It's a well-known fact that we only use 10% of our brain power. Which means there's a 90% chance that anything you do to your brain is only going to make you smarter. Like letting it float around in plutonium. Let's be honest, doing nothing isn't making you any smarter.

Any day can be the Fourth of July if you just believe. It also helps if you have a bag of fireworks – like the Pyrotechnic Tote - you can set off to distract people when they try to tell you that you can't take the day off to eat hot dogs and get drunk at the park. Is this not America, Samuel? Do we not have the freedom to vomit in our own shoes?

Slay it with flowers.

Start off with low health
Kill somebody with this knife
Steal all of their health

It's the perfect gift for the man who has everything: an icicle driven into their back. Even rich people can't buy that in stores.

It's the perfect gift for the man who has everything: an icicle driven into their back. Even rich people can't buy that in stores.

Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum of +10%

If looks could kill, this dapper fellow would make your head an accomplice to murder.

This smooth, suave, silk-lined beauty can turn any amateur backstabber into a handsome rogue.

Trick your enemies into thinking you are the doorman at a classy hotel. By the time they get wise, you'll be miles away with their car and luggage, rummaging through their clothes and laughing at them.

Being an innovative hand-held irradiating utensil capable of producing rapid pulses of high-amplitude radiation in sufficient quantity as to immolate, maim and otherwise incapacitate the Irish.

Take manual control of your Sentry Gun

Being a tool that eliminates exertion by harnessing the electrical discharges of thunder-storms for the vigorous coercion of bolts, nuts, pipes and similar into their rightful places. May also be used to bludgeon.

Though it looks like a simple ten-gallon hat, this modern feat of engineering actually contains more moving parts than a level 2 Sentry Gun.

Science fact: the human brain is 70% more effective when exposed to oxygen. Fashion fact: the human brain is 90% cooler-looking when you glue lots of Radio Shack stuff to it. Finally, an item that capitalizes on both.

Little known fact: cats are fantastic engineers. Go ahead and ask about it next time you see one. In case you don't speak feline, "meow" means "that cantilever is deflected over its g-type joist girder." It's probably going to say that a lot.

Using modern super-deluxe resolution graphics!

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.

While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and damage taken will be mini-crits.

Improves upon Mother Nature's original
design for volcanos by increasing portability.
Modern science is unable to explain exactly
where the lava is coming from.

Technically, field medics are protected as noncombatants under the Geneva Convention. The next time you get shot be sure to tell your killer. It's a conversation starter!

It gets difficult trying to calculate the total external applied torque to a body's rotational motion through its moment of momentum vector while the distracting sounds of gunfire and death are all around you. Build a better, safer machine with the silence of the Safe'n'sound!

Your enemies will think you're making peace, right up until the terrifying moment that their hand is very seriously cut! Here's the trick: It's a broken bottle!

Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash mini-crits!

Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.

You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store.