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Head
The Big Elfin Deal
Level 79 Hat - Timed Drop
You ask me if I wanna be a dentist one more time, pal, I'm gonna kick your teeth in.
Misc
9926
The Bootie Time #9926
Level 10 Apparel - Crafted
You dasher! You dancer! You prancer! You VIXEN! Pull Santa's sleigh all by yourself, you sexy little man.
  • Craft number: 9926
  • Jingle all the way
18693
Bonk Boy #18693
Level 99 Hat - Crafted
  • Craft number: 18693
  • Style: Tuned In
Primary
The Soda Popper
Level 10 Scattergun - Timed Drop
Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash mini-crits!
  • +50% faster firing speed
  • 25% faster reload time
  • -66% clip size
  • No random critical hits
Secondary
The Flying Guillotine
Level 58 Cleaver - Timed Drop
  • Throw at your enemies to make them bleed!
    Long distance hits cause mini-crits
  • 100% critical hit vs stunned players
  • No random critical hits
Melee
The Sandman
Level 15 Bat - Timed Drop
  • Alt-Fire: Launches a ball that stuns opponents
  • -15 max health on wearer
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
Head
Ol' Snaggletooth
Level 76 Hat - Timed Drop
Misc
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 21 Pocket Buddy - Found in Crate
These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
Tux
Level 10 Mascot - Timed Drop
Linux represent!
  • Style: Pyro
  • Untradable
Primary
The Sydney Sleeper
Level 1 Sniper Rifle - Timed Drop
  • +25% charge rate
  • On Hit: Jarate applied to target for 8 seconds
  • No random critical hits
  • No headshots
Secondary
Darwin's Danger Shield
Level 10 Shield - Timed Drop
  • +25 max health on wearer
Melee
The Bushwacka
Level 5 Kukri - Timed Drop
  • Crits whenever it would normally mini-crit
  • 20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
Head
Stout Shako
Level 59 Hat - Found in Crate
The grand achievement of
Victorian military fashion.
Misc
Named
  
3213
This is old_school Girl beard from 1969
Level 26 Facial Hair - Crafted
  • Effect: Genteel Smoke
  • Craft number: 3213
Painted with Radigan Conagher Brown
18984
Fancy Dress Uniform #18984
Level 51 Uniform - Crafted
  • Craft number: 18984
Primary
The Direct Hit
Level 1 Rocket Launcher - Timed Drop
  • +25% damage bonus
  • +80% projectile speed
  • Mini-crits targets launched airborne by explosions
  • -70% explosion radius
Secondary
The Gunboats
Level 10 Boots - Timed Drop
  • -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
Melee
Gore-Spattered Market Gardener
Level 10 Gore-Spattered Shovel - Found in Crate
  • Deals crits while the wielder is rocket jumping
  • No random critical hits
  • Kills: 444
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
Head
The FR-0
Level 2 Hat - Found in Crate
Own this one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia from the classic ‘70s film "Blaxton Hale vs. Black HAL 9000".
Misc
The Bird-Man of Aberdeen
Level 37 - Found in Crate
This shoulder-mounted feathered friend comes in any color you like, and is so full of whiskey it couldn't fly off if it wanted to. Great to have around if you decide to eat it—just turn your head and bite!
Dangeresque, Too?
Level 20 Glasses - Achievement
Splash the pot with all you got.
  • Untradable
Primary
The Loch-n-Load
Level 10 Grenade Launcher - Timed Drop
  • +20% damage bonus
  • +25% projectile speed
  • -50% clip size
  • Launched bombs shatter on surfaces
  • +25% damage to self
Secondary
The Splendid Screen
Level 10 Shield - Timed Drop
  • +20% fire damage resistance on wearer
  • +15% explosive damage resistance on wearer
  • Can deal charge impact damage at any range
  • +70% increase in charge impact damage
  • Style: Spike And Arrow
Melee
The Ullapool Caber
Level 10 Stick Bomb - Timed Drop
High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it...
  • No random critical hits
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
Head
21048
Doctor's Sack #21048
Level 74 Hat - Crafted
For when you've got that healin' fever.
  • Crafted by -{CAF}- DerpyPotato
  • Craft number: 21048
Misc
The Nine-Pipe Problem
Level 4 Pipe - Timed Drop
In the time it takes you to read this description, I've already ubered a heavy, captured your base, solved a crime, and smoked three pipes.
  • Effect: Genteel Smoke
Tux
Level 10 Mascot - Timed Drop
Linux represent!
  • Style: Pyro
  • Untradable
Primary
Syringe Gun
Level 1 Syringe Gun
Secondary
The Vaccinator
Level 8 Vaccinator - Timed Drop
ÜberCharge provides 75% resistance to a selected damage type. You are healed for 25% of the matched incoming damage on your heal target.
  • +50% ÜberCharge rate
  • Special-Attack: Cycle through resist types.
    While healing, provides you and your target with a constant 10% resistance to the selected damage type.
  • -66% Overheal build rate.
Melee
The Ubersaw
Level 10 Bonesaw - Timed Drop
  • On Hit: 25% ÜberCharge added
  • 20% slower firing speed
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
Head
The Bunsen Brave
Level 42 Hat - Found in Crate
Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame temperature of 3100 °C.
Misc
Tux
Level 10 Mascot - Timed Drop
Linux represent!
  • Style: Pyro
  • Untradable
The Competent Contributor's Spirit Of Giving
Level 1 The Competent Contributor's Badge - Timed Drop
The more gifts you give away, the bigger your heart will get! Get what gift-givers call "the Smissmas spirit," and what cardiologists call hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
  • Gifts Given: 3
  • Untradable
Primary
Festive Minigun
Level 1 Minigun - Found in Crate
Secondary
The Buffalo Steak Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box - Timed Drop
While under the effects, move speed is increased,
damage done and taken will be mini-crits,
and the player may only use melee weapons.

Who needs bread?
Melee
16648
The Apoco-Fists #16648
Level 10 Fists - Crafted
Turn every one of your fingers into the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! That's over nineteen Horsemen of the Apocalypse per glove! The most Apocalypse we've ever dared attach to one hand!
  • Crafted by -=OzG=-Xx♥SNSD>J3551C4♥xX-=OzG=-
  • Craft number: 16648
  • Killing an enemy with a critical hit will dismember your victim. Painfully.
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
Head
The Bolted Birdcage
Level 3 Hat - Found in Crate
You love the hard-hitting Robin Williams/Nathan Lane bird prison drama "The Birdcage" so much you wish you could be thinking about it all the time. The problem: Life's many distractions. The solution: This.
Misc
The Burning Bongos
Level 23 Bongos - Gifted
When you were a kid, all you wanted was to play the bongos. But then you grew up and, like all of us, realized you're not as good at bongos as Matthew McConaughey. Well, guess what, pal: Nobody is, or ever will be. (Equips Pyrovision.)
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
1163
The Infernal Orchestrina #1163
Level 89 Backpack - Crafted
Your BFFs (enemies) will turn their frowns upside down (confront their own mortality) as they dance a merry jig to (run in terror from) these cheery tunes (soul-destroying funeral dirges). (Equips Pyrovision.)
  • Craft number: 1163
  • Attrib_TauntSoundSuccess
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Primary
The Rainblower
Level 10 Flame Thrower - Timed Drop
Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed with fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire). (Equips Pyrovision.)
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Secondary
The Scorch Shot
Level 10 Flare Gun - Timed Drop
  • Flare knocks back target on hit
    and ignites enemies in a small radius
  • -50% damage penalty
Melee
The Lollichop
Level 86 Fire Axe - Timed Drop
Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat. (Equips Pyrovision.)
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
8 Spy
Head
The Galvanized Gibus
Level 74 Hat - Found in Crate
Elegant simplicity and old-world charm combine with the intoxicating aromas of methyl alcohol and gasoline. Do not wear in unventilated areas.
Misc
Genuine Distinguished Rogue
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
This coat does so much of the heavy lifting to make you look like a sophisticated man of espionage, you won't need to wear anything else at all. Watch those heads turn the next time you attend a fancy gala completely nude except for a coat. So jealous. How about that guy calling the police? Is HE jealous? Yeah he is.
  • Style: Epaulettes
The Dapper Disguise
Level 10 Mask - Achievement
Go incognito as a handsome man and enjoy the secret benefits of the exceptionally attractive. High-paying jobs! Erotic encounters! Free bread sticks at the Olive Garden! Eat as many as you can, though, because eventually the mask will rot off, leaving you uglier than before.
  • Untradable
Secondary
Sufficiently Lethal Festive Ambassador
Level 5 Sufficiently Lethal Revolver - Found in Crate
  • Crits on headshot
  • -15% damage penalty
  • 20% slower firing speed
  • Kills: 192
Melee
Festive Knife
Level 1 Knife - Found in Crate
Pda
Disguise Kit
Level 1 ...Cigarette Case?
Pda2
Positively Inhumane Dead Ringer
Level 5 Positively Inhumane Invis Watch - Found in Crate
  • Cloak Type: Feign Death
  • +80% cloak regen rate
  • +60% cloak drain rate
  • Deaths Feigned: 852
Building
The Red-Tape Recorder
Level 50 Sapper - Timed Drop
  • Reverses enemy building construction
  • -100% sapper damage penalty
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
Head
The Virtual Reality Headset
Level 10 Headset - Timed Drop
With these on, you can pretend you're winning.
Misc
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 21 Pocket Buddy - Found in Crate
These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
Googly Gazer
Level 32 Hat - Gifted
Keep one eye on your enemy and
the other one on everything else.
Primary
The Widowmaker
Level 5 Shotgun - Timed Drop
  • On Hit: damage dealt is returned as ammo
  • No reload necessary
  • Per Shot: -30 ammo
  • Uses metal for ammo
Secondary
The Lugermorph
Level 5 Pistol - Achievement
The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?
  • Untradable
Melee
The Gunslinger
Level 15 Robot Arm - Timed Drop
  • +25 max health on wearer
  • No random critical hits
  • Replaces the Sentry with a fast building Mini-Sentry
Pda
Construction PDA
Level 1 PDA
Pda2
Destruction PDA
Level 1 PDA
Building
PDA
Level 1 PDA
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Timed Drop
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.