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Head
Tough Stuff Muffs
Level 60 Hat - Found in Crate
Frostbite of the ears halts blood flow, and leads to tissue death, gangrene, and infection. And nobody wants to look at your gangrenous infected ears. Cover up those frostbitten abominations with these stylish earmuffs.
Misc
The Merc's Muffler
Level 66 Scarf - Found in Crate
The perfect winter accessory for those times when your holiday fun escalates into a high-casualty firefight. 90% more blood-absorbent than any other scarf on the market!
Primary
Mildly Menacing Scattergun
Level 1 Mildly Menacing Scattergun - Traded
  • Kills: 48
Secondary
Sufficiently Lethal Mad Milk
Level 5 Sufficiently Lethal Non-Milk Substance - Found in Crate
Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.
  • Sodden Victims: 215
Melee
Unremarkable Sandman
Level 15 Unremarkable Bat - Traded
  • Alt-Fire: Launches a ball that stuns opponents
  • -15 max health on wearer
  • Kills: 19
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
  • Uncraftable
Head
Gift
Shooter's Sola Topi
Level 29 Hat - Traded
Perfect for exploring the outback and the inside of people's heads.
  • Gift from: karnival
Misc
The Koala Compact
Level 77 Satchel - Found in Crate
Watch as your enemies quake in fear at the sight of this tiny koala! Hear them scream at his horrifying little hat! Smell them reel in alarm at how deviously small it is! Warning: You may not be able to stand the terror yourself!
Haunted Sir Hootsalot
Level 32 - Found in Crate
If owls are so smart, why did this one let you glue it to your shoulder? Come to think of it, neither one of you is looking like a super-genius on this one.
  • Style: Snowy
Primary
Strange Gold Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.II
Level 12 Strange Sniper Rifle - MvM Badge completion reward
  • Kills: 4
Secondary
Unremarkable Jarate
Level 5 Unremarkable Jar Based Karate - Found in Crate
  • Coated enemies take mini-crits
    Also handy for putting out a fire
  • Sodden Victims: 14
Melee
Strange Bushwacka
Level 5 Strange Kukri - Traded
  • Crits whenever it would normally mini-crit
  • 20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer
  • Kills: 7
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
  • Uncraftable
Head
  
Unusual Sergeant's Drill Hat
Level 87 Hat - Traded
This hat is a handy replacement for profanity-filled ranting when you don't feel like shouting yourself hoarse.
  • Effect: Sunbeams
Painted with The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants
Misc
Pocket Medic
Level 15 Pocket Buddy - Traded
Keep little healing man close.
Described
Earbuds
Level 87 Hat - Traded
Est. 1987
Primary
Positively Inhumane Black Box
Level 5 Positively Inhumane Rocket Launcher - Traded
  • On Hit: +15 health
  • -25% clip size
  • Kills: 998
  • Dominations: 46
  • Critical Kills: 166
  • Buildings Destroyed: 142
Secondary
The Gunboats
Level 10 Boots - Traded
  • -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
Melee
Unremarkable Escape Plan
Level 10 Unremarkable Pickaxe - Found in Crate
  • Move speed increases as the user becomes injured
  • Blocks healing while in use
  • Kills: 13
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
  • Uncraftable
Primary
Somewhat Threatening Festive Grenade Launcher
Level 1 Somewhat Threatening Grenade Launcher - Found in Crate
  • Kills: 70
Secondary
Festive Stickybomb Launcher
Level 1 Stickybomb Launcher - Found in Crate
  • Style: Festivest
Melee
Sufficiently Lethal Ullapool Caber
Level 10 Sufficiently Lethal Stick Bomb - Found in Crate
High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it...
  • No random critical hits
  • Kills: 208
Action
Battery Canteens
Level 74 Usable Item - Found in Crate
Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy. They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water canteen and are filled with battery acid.
  • Holds a maximum of 3 charges
  • Currently holds 0 charges
  • Each charge lasts 5 seconds
Head
Named
The German War Machine
Level 12 Hat - Found in Crate
A relic from one war brought into another.
Your enemy will get the point.
  • Effect: Nuts n' Bolts
Primary
Mildly Menacing Blutsauger
Level 5 Mildly Menacing Syringe Gun - Found in Crate
  • On Hit: +3 health
  • -2 health drained per second on wearer
  • Kills: 60
Secondary
Face-Melting Kritzkrieg
Level 8 Face-Melting Medi Gun - Found in Crate
  • ÜberCharge grants 100% critical chance
  • +25% ÜberCharge rate
  • Kill Assists: 1020
  • Ubers: 349
Melee
The Vita-Saw
Level 5 Bonesaw - Timed Drop
  • On death up to 20% of your stored
    ÜberCharge is retained
  • -10 max health on wearer
Action
Genuine Shred Alert
Level 5 Special Taunt - Steam Purchase
Harness the unholy power of the Dark One (Yngwie Malmsteen) and crush your opponents with blistering riffs, lava-hot licks and emotionally crippling power ballads!
Head
 
Vintage Tough Guy's Toque
Level 79 Hat - Traded
Because when you're the toughest Mother Hubbard in the fort, nobody's criticizing your fashion sense.
Painted with Color No. 216-190-216
Misc
Summer Shades
Level 10 Glasses - Steam Purchase
These are famous.
  • Untradable
Tux
Level 73 Mascot - Timed Drop
Linux represent!
  • Style: Demoman
  • Untradable
Primary
Unremarkable Brass Beast
Level 5 Unremarkable Minigun - Found in Crate
  • +20% damage bonus
  • 50% slower spin up time
  • -60% slower move speed while deployed
  • Kills: 21
Secondary
Strange Festive Sandvich
Level 1 Strange Lunch Box - Found in Crate
  • Food Items Eaten: 3
Melee
1404
The Ham Shank #1404
Level 5 Pork Product - Crafted
This makeshift classic is a prison staple. Simply take any common, everyday prison item, like a toothbrush or ham, whittle it to a point, and use it to shiv snitches waiting in line at the commissary for a second helping of ham and toothbrushes.
  • Crafted by SomebodyNowhere
  • Craft number: 1404
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
  • Uncraftable
Head
NamedDescribed
 
The Flamboyant Firefighter
Level 70 Hat - Traded
flam-boy-ant / Adjective / Noticeable because of unusual nature
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Painted with Pink as Hell
Misc
Sight for Sore Eyes
Level 5 Hat - Traded
Humorously vellicating vitreous.
The Filamental
Level 100 Hat - Found in Crate
Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only your electrician knows for sure!
Primary
Spectacularly Lethal Degreaser
Level 10 Spectacularly Lethal Flame Thrower - Found in Crate
  • 65% faster weapon switch
  • -10% damage penalty
  • -25% afterburn damage penalty
  • Kills: 324
  • Projectiles Reflected: 403
  • Allies Extinguished: 241
  • Posthumous Kills: 17
Secondary
The Scorch Shot
Level 10 Flare Gun - Gifted
  • Flare knocks back target on hit
    and ignites enemies in a small radius
  • -50% damage penalty
Melee
Notably Dangerous Festive Axtinguisher
Level 10 Notably Dangerous Fire Axe - Found in Crate
  • 100% critical hit vs burning players
  • -50% damage vs non-burning players
  • No critical hits vs non-burning players
  • Kills: 146
Action
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Don't leave your friends hanging.

This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to remain in the taunt's pose.
  • Uncraftable
8 Spy
Head
Vintage Fancy Fedora
Level 72 Hat - Traded
This smooth, suave, silk-lined beauty can turn any amateur backstabber into a handsome rogue.
Misc
The Dapper Disguise
Level 92 Mask - Achievement
Go incognito as a handsome man and enjoy the secret benefits of the exceptionally attractive. High-paying jobs! Erotic encounters! Free bread sticks at the Olive Garden! Eat as many as you can, though, because eventually the mask will rot off, leaving you uglier than before.
  • Untradable
The Cut Throat Concierge
Level 61 Shirt - Found in Crate
Trick your enemies into thinking you are the doorman at a classy hotel. By the time they get wise, you'll be miles away with their car and luggage, rummaging through their clothes and laughing at them.
Secondary
The Festive Ambassador
Level 5 Revolver - Found in Crate
  • Crits on headshot
  • -15% damage penalty
  • 20% slower firing speed
Melee
Gore-Spattered Knife
Level 1 Gore-Spattered Knife - Traded
  • Kills: 458
  • Revenges: 9
Pda
Disguise Kit
Level 1 ...Cigarette Case?
Pda2
Invis Watch
Level 1 Invis Watch
Building
Genuine Ap-Sap
Level 28 Sapper - Gifted
Mann Co. got a great deal from a nice lady in an abandoned science facility on a warehouse full of slightly used, possibly mildly defective sappers. Unlike our other sappers, the Ap-Sap is sentient, and will provide hours of lively, one-sided conversation while you're trying to work.
  • Attrib_Sapper_Voice_Pak
  • Attrib_Sapper_Voice_Pak_Idle_Wait
Action
Genuine Shred Alert
Level 5 Special Taunt - Steam Purchase
Harness the unholy power of the Dark One (Yngwie Malmsteen) and crush your opponents with blistering riffs, lava-hot licks and emotionally crippling power ballads!
Misc
The Idea Tube
Level 41 Backpack - Found in Crate
This handsome leather cylinder improves on the diary in every way. Do you have secret thoughts? Write 'em down, ball 'em up, and stuff 'em in the tube. It's incredibly easy to find a thought when you need it, too. Simply empty out the tube and there they all are. You're just one simple unballing away from remembering it.
The Pocket Purrer
Level 73 Satchel - Found in Crate
Little known fact: cats are fantastic engineers. Go ahead and ask about it next time you see one. In case you don't speak feline, "meow" means "that cantilever is deflected over its g-type joist girder." It's probably going to say that a lot.
Primary
Notably Dangerous Frontier Justice
Level 5 Notably Dangerous Shotgun - Traded
  • When your sentry is destroyed you
    gain revenge crits for every sentry kill
  • -50% clip size
  • No random critical hits
  • Kills: 154
Secondary
Unremarkable Pistol
Level 1 Unremarkable Pistol - Traded
  • Kills: 14
Melee
Gore-Spattered Gunslinger
Level 15 Gore-Spattered Robot Arm - Found in Crate
  • +25 max health on wearer
  • No random critical hits
  • Replaces the Sentry with a fast building Mini-Sentry
  • Sentry Kills: 360
  • Kills: 64
Pda
Construction PDA
Level 1 PDA
Pda2
Destruction PDA
Level 1 PDA
Building
PDA
Level 1 PDA
Action
Taunt: The Director's Vision
Level 5 Special Taunt - Achievement
Equip this item in your Action Slot and press the Action button to tell your victims you are making a Replay of their pathetic demise to share with everyone.
  • Untradable