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1 Scout
Head
Named
TF2 Outpost Christmas Hat 2012
Level 95 Hat - Traded
  • Effect: Circling TF Logo
Misc
Genuine UGC Highlander Platinum Participant
Level 1 Tournament Medal - Third-Party Promotion
UGC Highlander League Season 9
  • Untradable
Named
  
Princess Aislinn
Level 20 Balloon - Found in Crate
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Primary
Strange Force-A-Nature
Level 10 Strange Scattergun - Found in Crate
  • +50% faster firing speed
  • Knockback on the target and shooter
  • +20% bullets per shot
  • -10% damage penalty
  • -66% clip size
  • Kills: 0
Secondary
Unremarkable Mad Milk
Level 5 Unremarkable Non-Milk Substance - Found in Crate
Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.
  • Sodden Victims: 12
Melee
NamedDescribed
Frying Pan of Super Spadoodle
Level 5 Frying Pan - Traded
Protects self through preventive aggression. Also makes crepes.
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
  • Uncraftable
2 Sniper
Head
Named
TF2 Outpost Christmas Hat 2012
Level 95 Hat - Traded
  • Effect: Circling TF Logo
Misc
Named
  
Dingooooooooo!
Level 36 Satchel - Found in Crate
Watch as your enemies quake in fear at the sight of this tiny koala! Hear them scream at his horrifying little hat! Smell them reel in alarm at how deviously small it is! Warning: You may not be able to stand the terror yourself!
Painted with Color No. 216-190-216
Described
  
Haunted Sir Hootsalot
Level 3 - Found in Crate
Red beans and rice didn't miss her!
  • Style: Snowy
Painted with Color No. 216-190-216
Primary
Strange Sniper Rifle
Level 1 Strange Sniper Rifle - Found in Crate
  • Kills: 0
Secondary
Strange Jarate
Level 5 Strange Jar Based Karate - Found in Crate
  • Coated enemies take mini-crits
    Also handy for putting out a fire
  • Sodden Victims: 8
Melee
Strange Bushwacka
Level 5 Strange Kukri - Found in Crate
  • Crits whenever it would normally mini-crit
  • 20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer
  • Kills: 3
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
  • Uncraftable
3 Soldier
Head
NamedDescribed
Mattie's Hearts Team Captain
Level 80 Hat - Traded
Mattie's heart is always with me.
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Misc
Vintage Pyrovision Goggles
Level 77 Pyrovision Goggles - Timed Drop
Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective.
  • Witnessed the 2012 inferno
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
5178
The Kringle Collection #5178
Level 41 Coat - Crafted
Do the snow-pants dance with this stylish holiday ensemble from famed Arctic designer Kristoff Kringle.
  • Crafted by Brad Pitt
  • Craft number: 5178
Primary
Truly Feared Direct Hit
Level 1 Truly Feared Rocket Launcher - Traded
  • +25% damage bonus
  • +80% projectile speed
  • Mini-crits targets launched airborne by explosions
  • -70% explosion radius
  • Kills: 238
  • Gib Kills: 20
Secondary
Gore-Spattered Shotgun
Level 1 Gore-Spattered Shotgun - Traded
  • Kills: 430
  • Kills While Low Health: 0
Melee
Genuine Ham Shank
Level 5 Pork Product - Steam Purchase
This makeshift classic is a prison staple. Simply take any common, everyday prison item, like a toothbrush or ham, whittle it to a point, and use it to shiv snitches waiting in line at the commissary for a second helping of ham and toothbrushes.
Action
Taunt: The Director's Vision
Level 5 Special Taunt - Achievement
Equip this item in your Action Slot and press the Action button to tell your victims you are making a Replay of their pathetic demise to share with everyone.
  • Untradable
4 Demoman
Head
NamedDescribedGift
  
Scam Buster 5000
Level 53 Hat - Found in Crate
My love for scammers is infinite.
  • Effect: Circling Heart
  • Gift from: yo
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Misc
Genuine UGC Highlander Steel Participant
Level 1 Tournament Medal - Third-Party Promotion
UGC Highlander League Season 6
  • Untradable
Named
Eternal Love and a Hearts Team Captain ♡
Level 100 Ring - Purchased
  • A perpetual bond of commitment between Mattie!
  • and HelenAngel, forever and ever and ever. XoXoX
  • Untradable
  • Uncraftable
Primary
Strange Loch-n-Load
Level 10 Strange Grenade Launcher - Found in Crate
  • +20% damage bonus
  • +25% projectile speed
  • -50% clip size
  • Launched bombs shatter on surfaces
  • +25% damage to self
  • Kills: 1
Secondary
Unremarkable Stickybomb Launcher
Level 1 Unremarkable Stickybomb Launcher - Found in Crate
  • Kills: 14
Melee
Unremarkable Bottle
Level 1 Unremarkable Bottle - Found in Crate
  • Kills: 15
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
  • Uncraftable
5 Medic
Head
NamedDescribedGift
Helen's Birthday Geisha
Level 90 Hat - Traded
Happy birthday! IT IS BIRTHDAY YOU GO FURST? )
  • Effect: Purple Confetti
  • Gift from: Suttles
Misc
Named
  
Don't be so nosy!
Level 47 Hat - Traded
  • Effect: Purple Confetti
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Genuine Foppish Physician
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
Whether you're trepanning a skull to let out the sickness ghosts or attaching enough leeches to a patient that they'll pass out from blood loss before you cut off any suspicious-looking limbs, this dapper ruffed shirt and coat will assure your patients that they came to the right place for their dangerously insane 18th century medicine.
Primary
Scarcely Lethal Crusader's Crossbow
Level 15 Scarcely Lethal Crossbow - Traded
  • 40% faster reload time
  • Fires special bolts that heal teammates and deal damage based on distance traveled
  • No headshots
  • -75% max primary ammo on wearer
  • Kills: 30
Secondary
Wicked Nasty Quick-Fix
Level 8 Wicked Nasty Medi Gun Prototype - Found in Crate
Can't overheal.
Move at the speed of any faster heal target.
  • ÜberCharge increases healing by 300% and grants immunity to movement-impairing effects
  • +40% heal rate
  • +25% ÜberCharge rate
  • Ubers: 609
  • Kill Assists: 1859
Melee
Genuine Ham Shank
Level 5 Pork Product - Steam Purchase
This makeshift classic is a prison staple. Simply take any common, everyday prison item, like a toothbrush or ham, whittle it to a point, and use it to shiv snitches waiting in line at the commissary for a second helping of ham and toothbrushes.
Action
Power Up Canteen
Level 28 Usable Item - Achievement
Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.
  • Holds a maximum of 3 charges
  • Currently holds 0 charges
  • Each charge lasts 5 seconds
  • Untradable
6 Heavy
Head
NamedDescribed
Mattie's Hearts Team Captain
Level 80 Hat - Traded
Mattie's heart is always with me.
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Misc
Genuine UGC Highlander Platinum Participant
Level 1 Tournament Medal - Third-Party Promotion
UGC Highlander League Season 9
  • Untradable
Named
  
Princess Aislinn
Level 20 Balloon - Found in Crate
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Primary
Mildly Menacing Tomislav
Level 5 Mildly Menacing Minigun - Found in Crate
  • 10% faster spin up time
  • Silent Killer: No barrel spin sound
  • 20% slower firing speed
  • Kills: 53
Secondary
Gore-Spattered Shotgun
Level 1 Gore-Spattered Shotgun - Traded
  • Kills: 430
  • Kills While Low Health: 0
Melee
Genuine Ham Shank
Level 5 Pork Product - Steam Purchase
This makeshift classic is a prison staple. Simply take any common, everyday prison item, like a toothbrush or ham, whittle it to a point, and use it to shiv snitches waiting in line at the commissary for a second helping of ham and toothbrushes.
Action
Taunt: The Schadenfreude
Level 5 Special Taunt - Purchased
Share a good natured laugh with everyone except that one guy you just shot.
  • Uncraftable
7 Pyro
Head
NamedDescribed
  
Mattie has my heart
Level 4 Hat - Traded
My very first unusual, given to me by my darling husband.
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Misc
Genuine Ready Steady Pan Participant
Level 1 Tournament Medal - Third-Party Promotion
Season 2
  • Untradable
Described
  
Unusual HazMat Headcase
Level 78 Hat - Found in Crate
Even though I'm a headcase, Mattie still loves me and I love him. =D
  • Effect: Circling Heart
  • Style: Streamlined
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Primary
Gore-Spattered Rainblower
Level 10 Gore-Spattered Flame Thrower - Found in Crate
Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed with fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire). (Equips Pyrovision.)
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
  • Kills: 492
  • Robots Destroyed: 0
  • Posthumous Kills: 40
  • Cloaked Spies Killed: 2
Secondary
Somewhat Threatening Flare Gun
Level 10 Somewhat Threatening Flare Gun - Found in Crate
  • Kills: 76
  • Posthumous Kills: 2
Melee
Strange Homewrecker
Level 5 Strange Sledgehammer - Found in Crate
  • 100% damage vs buildings
  • Damage removes Sappers
  • -25% damage vs players
  • Kills: 0
  • Sappers Removed: 6
Action
Power Up Canteen
Level 28 Usable Item - Achievement
Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.
  • Holds a maximum of 3 charges
  • Currently holds 0 charges
  • Each charge lasts 5 seconds
  • Untradable
8 Spy
Head
Described
Unusual A Rather Festive Tree
Level 77 Hat - Traded
TREEBROS FOREVER!
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Misc
  
The Made Man
Level 1 - Purchased
A gentleman always has a flower handy to drop on an opponent's grave.
  • Uncraftable
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Genuine Distinguished Rogue
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
This coat does so much of the heavy lifting to make you look like a sophisticated man of espionage, you won't need to wear anything else at all. Watch those heads turn the next time you attend a fancy gala completely nude except for a coat. So jealous. How about that guy calling the police? Is HE jealous? Yeah he is.
Secondary
Strange Diamondback
Level 5 Strange Revolver - Found in Crate
  • Gives one guaranteed critical hit for each
    building destroyed with your sapper attached
  • -15% damage penalty
  • No random critical hits
  • Kills: 2
Melee
Unremarkable Big Earner
Level 1 Unremarkable Knife - Found in Crate
  • +30 cloak on kill
  • -25 max health on wearer
  • Kills: 17
Pda
Disguise Kit
Level 1 ...Cigarette Case?
Pda2
Mildly Menacing Dead Ringer
Level 5 Mildly Menacing Invis Watch - Found in Crate
  • Cloak Type: Feign Death
  • +80% cloak regen rate
  • +60% cloak drain rate
  • Deaths Feigned: 52
Building
Named
Dell Conagher's Nemesis
Level 1 Sapper - Timed Drop
Action
Power Up Canteen
Level 28 Usable Item - Achievement
Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.
  • Holds a maximum of 3 charges
  • Currently holds 0 charges
  • Each charge lasts 5 seconds
  • Untradable
9 Engineer
Head
Named
  
Ten Gallons of Tagged Scammers!
Level 30 Hat - Traded
Though it looks like a simple ten-gallon hat, this modern feat of engineering actually contains more moving parts than a level 2 Sentry Gun.
  • Effect: Circling Heart
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Misc
Named
  
Boxes
Level 33 Satchel - Found in Crate
Little known fact: cats are fantastic engineers. Go ahead and ask about it next time you see one. In case you don't speak feline, "meow" means "that cantilever is deflected over its g-type joist girder." It's probably going to say that a lot.
Painted with A Deep Commitment to Purple
Vintage Pyrovision Goggles
Level 77 Pyrovision Goggles - Timed Drop
Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective.
  • Witnessed the 2012 inferno
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
Primary
Gore-Spattered Shotgun
Level 1 Gore-Spattered Shotgun - Traded
  • Kills: 430
  • Kills While Low Health: 0
Secondary
Genuine Short Circuit
Level 5 Robot Arm - Steam Purchase
  • On Fire: Generates an electrical field that destroys
    projectiles and does slight damage to players
  • No reload necessary
  • No random critical hits
  • Per Shot: -35 ammo
  • Uses metal for ammo
Melee
Named
The Long Arm of the Law
Level 50 Robot Arm - Support Granted
  • Effect: Community Sparkle
  • +25 max health on wearer
  • No random critical hits
  • Replaces the Sentry with a fast building Mini-Sentry
  • Untradable
  • Uncraftable
Pda
Named
HELEN'S OWN CONSTRUCTION PDA
Level 1 PDA - Timed Drop
Pda2
Destruction PDA
Level 1 PDA
Building
PDA
Level 1 PDA
Action
Power Up Canteen
Level 28 Usable Item - Achievement
Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one bonus type at a time.
  • Holds a maximum of 3 charges
  • Currently holds 0 charges
  • Each charge lasts 5 seconds
  • Untradable