All
Demoman
Item statistics
| Hats | 226 |
|---|---|
| Misc | 106 |
| Total | 332 |
Store costs
| Total | Avg. | |
|---|---|---|
| BRL | 2009.57 | 10.41 |
| EUR | €890.07 | €4.61 |
| GBP | £814.82 | £4.22 |
| RUB | 35319.0 | 183.0 |
| USD | $1187.07 | $6.15 |
Most expensive
$17.49
The RoBro 3000
Level 1-100 Robot
The RoBro 3000 doesn't just watch your back in battle! Whether you're on the battlefield, out on the town, sleeping in bed or on the toilet, you'll always have a friend in the RoBro, which comes with no "OFF" switch and cannot be shut down. The RoBro even tapes everything you do, whether you want it to or not. It's not even a feature we installed on the RoBro—it's just something it does for its own mysterious reasons!
$17.49
The Balloonicorn
Level 20 Balloon
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
- On Equip: Visit Pyroland
- Only visible in Pyroland
$12.99
$12.99
$12.99
$12.99
$12.99
$12.99
$9.99
$9.99
Horrific Headsplitter
Level 31 Hat
When wearing such a piece of headgear it is best to keep an open mind.
Store price: $4.99
Ghastlier Gibus
Level 10 Hat
Even more ghastly.
- This is a special Halloween 2010 item
- Styles: Ghastlier, Ghastly, Ghostly
- Untradable
The Spine-Twisting Skull
Level 31 Hat
Express your discontent with the living.
- This is a special Halloween 2011 item
Backbiter's Billycock
Level 1-100 Hat
For when you wish your head was a little taller,
but just as round on top.
but just as round on top.
Store price: $4.99
Respectless Rubber Glove
Level 1-100 Hat
It doesn't matter how much people respect you when they're on fire.
Store price: $4.99
Camera Beard
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
You wouldn't mind if I read this top secret document with my beard, would you?
Store price: $4.99
Bonk Helm
Level 1-100 Hat
When drinking one radioactive beverage at a time is not enough.
Store price: $4.99
Tyrant's Helm
Level 1-100 Hat
I kicked your ass so hard it went back in time and got me this VIKING HAT.
Store price: $4.99
Texas Ten Gallon
Level 1-100 Hat
Though it looks like a simple ten-gallon hat, this modern feat of engineering actually contains more moving parts than a level 2 Sentry Gun.
Store price: $4.99
Tough Guy's Toque
Level 1-100 Hat
Because when you're the toughest Mother Hubbard in the fort, nobody's criticizing your fashion sense.
Store price: $4.99
Officer's Ushanka
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat was made of bear hands.
That bear was killed with bare hands.
That bear was killed with bare hands.
Store price: $4.99
The Mask of the Shaman
Level 10 Mask
An invincibility mask made by the Ancients. It hasn't worked in a long, long time.
Tyrantium Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat kicks your ass so hard you'll fly into an alternate dimension where Vikings are robots. Deal with it!
The Surgeon's Stethoscope
Level 20 Stethoscope
Look like you know what you're doing when you pronounce people dead.
Store price: $9.99
The FR-0
Level 1-100 Hat
Own this one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia from the classic ‘70s film "Blaxton Hale vs. Black HAL 9000".
Bolted Bombardier
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
Remember that time you met the wisest robot in the world? And tore his beard off and stole his stupid pipe? Because the police are here and they want to talk to you.
The Gridiron Guardian
Level 1-100 Hat
This helmet commemorates the epic Canadian Robot Football League showdown between Les Montreal Footballiers and their Manitoban rivals the Winnepeg Saskatchewans. Don't believe us? Ask any Canadian!
Hottie's Hoodie
Level 1-100 Hat
If you've got it, flaunt it.
If you don't, hide it under this discreet hoodie.
If you don't, hide it under this discreet hoodie.
Store price: $7.49
Villain's Veil
Level 1-100 Hat
The good, the bad, and the dead.
- Styles: Hired Gun, Smooth Assassin, Trained Killer
Store price: $7.49
Honcho's Headgear
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat has mean written all over it.
(Note from Legal: This hat has nothing written on it.)
(Note from Legal: This hat has nothing written on it.)
Store price: $7.49
Reggaelator
Level 1-100 Hat
Every little thing is gonna be alright.
- Styles: Original, Burst, Bones, Designer
Store price: $7.49
Tippler's Tricorne
Level 1-100 Hat
Three sharp corners mean one sharp hat.
Don't poke your eye out.
Don't poke your eye out.
Store price: $4.99
Safe'n'Sound
Level 1-100 Hat
It gets difficult trying to calculate the total external applied torque to a body's rotational motion through its moment of momentum vector while the distracting sounds of gunfire and death are all around you. Build a better, safer machine with the silence of the Safe'n'sound!
Store price: $4.99
Whiskered Gentleman
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
The most distinguished tape-on fire-retardant facial hair available, for the discerning gentleman of conflagration.
Store price: $4.99
Whoopee Cap
Level 1-100 Hat
You'd have to be a jughead not to realize this cap is the pinnacle of fashion for the discerning youth.
Store price: $4.99
The Nine-Pipe Problem
Level 1-100 Pipe
In the time it takes you to read this description, I've already ubered a heavy, captured your base, solved a crime, and smoked three pipes.
- Effect: Genteel Smoke
- Styles: Afternoon, Evening
Store price: $4.99
The Centurion
Level 1-100 Hat
Unlike those cheap knock-offs, the brush part of THIS centurion helmet is made from the HEAD hair of your fallen enemies.
- Untradable
The Bootie Time
Level 10 Apparel
You dasher! You dancer! You prancer! You VIXEN! Pull Santa's sleigh all by yourself, you sexy little man.
- Jingle all the way
Store price: $5.99
The Jingle Belt
Level 1-100 Bells
Slay-bells will be ringing in the slow-roasted ears of your burn victims.
- Jingle all the way
Store price: $7.49
Large Luchadore
Level 1-100 Hat
Wrestling's real, and now you can prove it.
- Styles: El Macho, El Amor Ardiente, El Picante Grande
Store price: $7.49
Medic's Mountain Cap
Level 1-100 Hat
The men in his unit called him 'The Bavarian Butcher'
Store price: $7.49
Big Country
Level 1-100 Hat
It'd be a damn shame to hide hair this handsome.
- Styles: Nelson, Brooks
Store price: $7.49
Professor's Peculiarity
Level 1-100 Hat
I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics. Bullet mechanics? Well now that's a different thing entirely.
- Styles: Manic, Tamed
Store price: $7.49
Googly Gazer
Level 1-100 Hat
Keep one eye on your enemy and
the other one on everything else.
the other one on everything else.
- Styles: Mad Science, Machine in the Man
Store price: $7.49
Max's Severed Head
Level 1-100 Hat
Expertly crafted headwear from cruelty-free farms
in the Philippines. Hollowed-out skull casing wicks
moisture away when in the heat of battle.
in the Philippines. Hollowed-out skull casing wicks
moisture away when in the heat of battle.
The Brown Bomber
Level 1-100 Hat
Celebrate Canada's birthday, on whatever day that happens, with this commemorative Canadian Prime Minister's ceremonial dress hat.
- Styles: Hunter, Hipster
Store price: $7.49
The Bunsen Brave
Level 1-100 Hat
Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame temperature of 3100 °C.
Fancy Fedora
Level 1-100 Hat
This smooth, suave, silk-lined beauty can turn any amateur backstabber into a handsome rogue.
Soldier's Stash
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat does not in any way, shape, or form, promote smoking or gambling.
Prussian Pickelhaube
Level 1-100 Hat
A relic from one war brought into another.
Your enemy will get the point.
Your enemy will get the point.
Trophy Belt
Level 1-100 Hat
Any old sap can pull teeth from a dead crocodile.
It takes a man to pull teeth from a live one.
It takes a man to pull teeth from a live one.
Batter's Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
You'll be batting a thousand (skulls in) when you don this red piece of plastic!
Aperture Labs Hard Hat
Level 10 Hat
Produce-powered personal illumination and cranial safety apparatus.
NOT FOR USE OUTSIDE OFFICIAL APERTURE FACILITIES.
NOT FOR USE OUTSIDE OFFICIAL APERTURE FACILITIES.
- Styles: [classified], Aperture Logo
The Capo's Capper
Level 1-100 Hat
This dashing number will help you commit crimes of all kinds—except against fashion.
Store price: $12.99
The Crafty Hair
Level 1-100 Hair
If you're ever planning on fighting aliens, this is the hair to have. Aliens are afraid of angular, painstakingly coiffed hair, so the mere sight of you will send them running back to Mars. Or, alternatively, we're completely wrong and you're going to die. Either way, though, you're going to look stylin'.
- Styles: Yellow, Brown
Triboniophorus Tyrannus
Level 1-100 Hat
At least he's still telling you to burn things.
Store price: $4.99
Troublemaker's Tossle Cap
Level 1-100 Hat
Straight outta control point.
- Styles: New School, Old School, Older School, Oldest School
Store price: $4.99
Killer's Kabuto
Level 1-100 Hat
A Haiku for war.
To defeat one's enemies.
Honor the crocket.
To defeat one's enemies.
Honor the crocket.
Store price: $4.99
Shooter's Sola Topi
Level 1-100 Hat
Perfect for exploring the outback and the inside of people's heads.
Store price: $4.99
The Champ Stamp
Level 1-100 Tattoos
Show Chinese organized crime gangs who's boss by wearing their cool tattoos without actually participating in any of their totally illegal criminal conspiracies! Note: DO NOT actually show your new tattoo to ANYONE in a Chinese organized crime gang.
Store price: $7.49
The Marxman
Level 1-100 Glasses
Everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. But did you know that laughter is also the best disguise? No? Well, good thing you're not a cop infiltrating the Chinese mafia, then. Oh wait you are. AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD. Look, rookie, these glasses are hilarious.
- Styles: No Cigar, Yes, Cigar
Store price: $4.99
The Brütal Bouffant
Level 1-100 Hair
This brutally heavy all-class sideburns and mullet combo was hand-sheared from the manes of Icelandic headbangers, woven with sigil-encrusted knitting needles of occult significance, and air-mailed straight out of hell.
Store price: $4.99
Buck Turner All-Stars
Level 1-100 Shoes
Named after the famous Badlands sprinter who set a land speed record for sleeping with other men's wives. Turner designed the shoes to escape angry mobs of husbands, but sadly could not outrun diabetes. Both his feet were later amputated.
The Wilson Weave
Level 1-100 Hair
Hear ye, hear ye! Re-enact famous moments in barber history with this tricorn hat of hair!
Store price: $4.99
The Janissary Ketche
Level 1-100 Hat
The first standing army to wear uniforms wanted to make damn sure everyone else knew it.
Magistrate's Mullet
Level 1-100 Hat
They say justice is blind. What they don't tell you is that justice is also invisible, and also less interested in justice than murder.
Store price: $4.99
Physician's Procedure Mask
Level 1-100 Hat
Scrub in... things are about to get messy.
Store price: $4.99
The Hound Dog
Level 1-100 Hat
Your opponents will be all shook up when they see these sweet shades and coif.
Store price: $4.99
The Grand Duchess Tiara
Level 1-100 Hat
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the tiara she wore while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop throne.
Store price: $4.99
The Grand Duchess Fairy Wings
Level 1-100 Apparel
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the fairy wings she wore while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop throne.
Store price: $4.99
The Grand Duchess Tutu
Level 1-100 Apparel
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the tutu she wore while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop throne.
Store price: $4.99
The Voodoo JuJu (Slight Return)
Level 1-100 Hat
Bones: They hold your body up, keep all your meat in place, and they're all that separates us from jellyfish. Why keep them inside, where they can't get the acclaim they deserve? Here's to you, bones.
Store price: $4.99
The War Pig
Level 1-100 Hat
After complaints that obstructed vision was affecting his performance, Soldier slapped some goggles on a helmet and charged back into the fray. His performance did not improve, but on the upside, everyone has stopped expecting anything from him.
- Styles: Uninhibited, Conspicuous
Store price: $4.99
Hat of Cards
Level 1-100 Hat
Why did we just take one of those cards out of our hats to blatantly cheat at poker? Maybe what you should be asking is this: why are our knives...in your gut?! You might also want to ask: where is the nearest hospital?! And: is blood as important as everyone claims?!
Store price: $4.99
The Koala Compact
Level 1-100 Satchel
Watch as your enemies quake in fear at the sight of this tiny koala! Hear them scream at his horrifying little hat! Smell them reel in alarm at how deviously small it is! Warning: You may not be able to stand the terror yourself!
- Styles: Twins, Poor and Irish
Store price: $4.99
The Track Terrorizer
Level 1-100 Shirt
For a brief stint in high school, Scout joined the track team in one of his many schemes to pick up girls. He was kicked off the team after three days when everyone realized he was 23-years-old and also not enrolled in the school.
Store price: $4.99
Medi-Mask
Level 1-100 Mask
As a thought experiment, Medic has taken to wearing this mask, releasing innocuous gas into a room and screaming, "Dear god – the poison tanker has burst!" to see what people will do. So far, the tests have been inconclusive. Although, a couple people have died. So that's interesting.
Store price: $4.99
The Soviet Gentleman
Level 1-100 Hat
Heavy is a man of intrigue, and every intrigue-man worth his salt deserves a fine hat and moustache to sport. That way, people can excitedly whisper things like: "I wonder how long it took him to grow that moustache" and "what do you think he keeps under his hat?"
Store price: $4.99
The Pocket Purrer
Level 1-100 Satchel
Little known fact: cats are fantastic engineers. Go ahead and ask about it next time you see one. In case you don't speak feline, "meow" means "that cantilever is deflected over its g-type joist girder." It's probably going to say that a lot.
Store price: $4.99
The Cyborg Stunt Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
If you pause that big fight scene in the classic film "Swinging Fists of Future Hercules", you can tell that's not actually famous robot actor Kirk RoboDouglas, but a cyborg stuntman. Support the unsung heroes of the silver-plated screen with this limited edition stunt helmet.
Full Metal Drill Hat
Level 1-100 Hat
What is your major malfunction, Private Robot? You had best defrag yourself or I will unscrew your head, access the CPU in your neck and fix your major malfunction!
The Salty Dog
Level 10 Hat
Get all of a boat captain's respect without the crushing responsibility of actually captaining a boat or the enormous amount of ongoing maintenance a boat requires!
Store price: $7.49
The Surgeon's Stahlhelm
Level 10 Hat
Technically, field medics are protected as noncombatants under the Geneva Convention. The next time you get shot be sure to tell your killer. It's a conversation starter!
Store price: $7.49
The Backwards Ballcap
Level 10 Hat
Stick it to Major League Baseball by not wearing their hat the right way.
- Styles: I Can't Hear You, Headphones Disengaged
Store price: $4.99
Plumber's Pipe
Level 1-100 Hat
Learn plumbing by osmosis with this handy Home Plumber's Kit! Comes with pipe, length of wire.
Teddy Robobelt
Level 1-100 Pocket Buddy
This tiny robotic bear used to be the President. Now he lives in your pocket. How could the mighty have fallen so far? [makes drinking gesture] Glug glug wink wink.
The Ebenezer
Level 1-100 Hat
If you are visited by one piece of spectral headwear this night, make it the Ghost of Christmas Hats, donated in true Smissmas spirit by Steam User Jacen.
The Grizzled Growth
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
Whether it's the rugged charm of your chin locks or the fumes from the overripe pomade, the ladies are sure to swoon whenever you're near. Shave it off while they're dazed and pretend you saved them from a bear attack when they awake. Works every time.
Store price: $4.99
The Prize Plushy
Level 1-100 Pocket Buddy
No more carnival games for you! Why buy three throws for a dollar and a chance to win a prize plushy for your paramour when you can just get one from the source and carry it around with you wherever you go!
Store price: $7.49
L'Inspecteur
Level 10 Hat
Nobody is not scared of a policeman from France. That is why this hat is so effective.
Store price: $7.49
Steel Shako
Level 1-100 Hat
Combining the sublime pageantry of Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker" with the bold futurism of Tchaikovsky's "Robot Nutcracker vs. Tarzan".
Couvre Corner
Level 20 Pocket Square
Sometimes we put some jokes in these descriptions. But, no joke: This looks good. Really sharp.
Store price: $4.99
The Flamboyant Flamenco
Level 10 Hat
Help your enemies celebrate Day of the Dead by wearing this hat and then killing them.
Store price: $7.49
The Swagman's Swatter
Level 10 Hat
This is the best hat. We couldn't say it if it weren't true. This one's the best.
Store price: $9.99
The Titanium Towel
Level 1-100 Apparel
Sure, regular towels work fine for water, but what if you're covered in magnets? What's your regular towel doing for you now? Watching you slowly die of magnetism, that's what.
The Virtual Reality Headset
Level 10 Headset
With these on, you can pretend you're winning.
Store price: $9.99
Ye Oiled Baker Boy
Level 1-100 Hat
It's as if this hat fell off the tiny metal head of a dirt-stained urchinbot selling robonewspapers in 1899 Mecha-London, rolled through a time tunnel and into your modern backpack.
The Bot Dogger
Level 1-100 Hat
It's inevitable that robot hot dog hats will someday become the most popular fashion accessory on the planet. And when they do, everyone will claim they liked them "before they were cool." Thanks to the Bot Dogger, only YOU will be able to prove it.
The Crone's Dome
Level 1-100 Hat
For hundreds of years, women have enjoyed all the perks of being a witch (making potions, having warts, getting burned alive) while men stood on the sidelines. No longer! Break through that haunted glass ceiling with the Crone's Dome.
Store price: $4.99
The Executioner
Level 1-100 Hat
Being an executioner is a lot more than just killing people. Sometimes you get to torture them first. Tip: To make things interesting, why not torture someone until they yell the secret word? (Hint: the secret word is "Freedom".)
Store price: $4.99
The Bonedolier
Level 1-100 Bones
Scare your friends into thinking you're carrying around deadly grenades. Bask in their relief when it turns out they're only harmless human skulls.
Store price: $4.99
The Plutonidome
Level 1-100 Hat
It's a well-known fact that we only use 10% of our brain power. Which means there's a 90% chance that anything you do to your brain is only going to make you smarter. Like letting it float around in plutonium. Let's be honest, doing nothing isn't making you any smarter.
- Styles: Functioning, Broken
Store price: $4.99
The Spooky Shoes
Level 1-100 Shoes
From Hell! Size 666! Outside of Hell, that's a 5 1/2. Men's! Experience the agonizing terror of tiny man feet!.
Store price: $4.99
The Spooky Sleeves
Level 1-100 Apparel
Get these now, before Glenn Danzig finds out about them and buys them all! Seriously, you can have a world where these spooky sleeves are in stock, or a world where Glenn Danzig exists, but not both! Hurry! He's googling "spooky sleeves" RIGHT NOW!
Store price: $4.99
The Boo Balloon
Level 20 Balloon
These cheery (but terrifying!) balloons are made from the actual inflated faces of ghosts. Order now, before those uppity ghost rights activists get wind of this and shut it down.
- Styles: Haunting, Please Help, Hey Guys, What's Going On?, Bone Party
Store price: $4.99
The Bearded Bombardier
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
Demo is already a lot like Santa Claus. They both have extensive knowledge of modern explosives, they both hate Judy Garland, and now, they can both sport a charming beard and corn cob pipe.
- Effect: Genteel Smoke
- Styles: Whatever, Formal
Store price: $4.99
The Champ Stamp
Level 1-100 Tattoos
Show Chinese organized crime gangs who's boss by wearing their cool tattoos without actually participating in any of their totally illegal criminal conspiracies! Note: DO NOT actually show your new tattoo to ANYONE in a Chinese organized crime gang.
The Marxman
Level 1-100 Glasses
Everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. But did you know that laughter is also the best disguise? No? Well, good thing you're not a cop infiltrating the Chinese mafia, then. Oh wait you are. AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD. Look, rookie, these glasses are hilarious.
- Styles: No Cigar, Yes, Cigar
The Idea Tube
Level 1-100 Backpack
This handsome leather cylinder improves on the diary in every way. Do you have secret thoughts? Write 'em down, ball 'em up, and stuff 'em in the tube. It's incredibly easy to find a thought when you need it, too. Simply empty out the tube and there they all are. You're just one simple unballing away from remembering it.
Store price: $4.99
Robot Chicken Hat
Level 10 Hat
Why did the chicken REALLY cross the road? To get hit by a car, stolen by a mad scientist, and transformed into a terrifying cyborg that you can wear on your head. So the next time you hear someone telling you that joke, set that smug joke-teller straight, because you've got the FACTS.
- Styles: Normal, Beakless
Store price: $7.49
The Tribal Bones
Level 1-100 Bones
No ritual that results in the senseless destruction of human life at the behest of an angry god is complete without a Tribal Bones necklace. Like all of our mothers weirdly happened to say, if you're going to do some human sacrifices, you gotta look the part.
Store price: $4.99
The Fed-Fightin' Fedora
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat commemorates that time you stuck it on a broom and tricked the Feds into shooting at it for an hour while you scooted off with all that bank money. Goes great with all those bullet wounds in your torso from that time you pulled the same trick on much smarter Feds.
Store price: $4.99
Dillinger's Duffel
Level 1-100 Backpack
This duffel comes with leather straps so all your money doesn't fall out. The leather straps also don't tighten all the way, so some money WILL fall out, and ladies will know how rich you are. (Answer: Very. Also handsome.)
Store price: $4.99
The Business Casual
Level 1-100 Shirt
It's casual business up front, and more casual business in the back. Now: check those sides. Yep. It's casual business there too. Cover all the casual business bases with this unbuttoned suit jacket.
Store price: $7.49
The HazMat Headcase
Level 1-100 Hat
This impermeable, gas-tight hood keeps your head at a comfortable 350-degree temperature throughout the day. The tinted visor lets you sweat off that unsightly face fat in the privacy of your own sweltering hell.
- Styles: Safety First, Reinforced, Streamlined, A Serious Absence of Fear
Store price: $9.99
The Void Monk Hair
Level 1-100 Hat
Channel all the elegance and mystique of an elf with only half the pretention with the Void Monk Hair. Also included with purchase: effeminate good looks. But you already had those, didn't you, you handsome devil.
Store price: $4.99
The Ninja Cowl
Level 1-100 Hat
If there's one thing that the ladies/men love, it's mystery. And what's more mysterious than covering your entire face with a Ninja Cowl? "Oh my, I can't see any of that man's face!" they'll exclaim. "He must have a terrible secret I will uncover with my love."
Store price: $4.99
The Breather Bag
Level 1-100 Hat
Since the invention of the garbage bag, humanity has longed to put it over its head. Until now, this usually meant immediate asphyxiation. UNTIL NOW! Plastic bag over your head? Breathing air? Thanks to the geniuses at FaceBagHole Co., you don't have to choose.
Base Metal Billycock
Level 1-100 Hat
Robo-impersonate your favorite fictional bowler-hatted characters, from Batman's Riddler to Clockwork Orange's Alex to England's Winston Churchill.
Soldered Sensei
Level 1-100 Hat
Karate masters WANT you to think there's no belt higher than black. But what if we told you there was a secret metal belt ABOVE black that lets you kick a black belt's ass all over the place? Scared black belt guys have been trying to keep a lid on this for years.
The Hermes
Level 10 Hat
Don't shoot the messenger. Actually, go ahead and try. Can't be done, pal! Too fast!
Store price: $7.49
Letch's LED
Level 1-100 Hat
Comes with x-ray specs that let you see through people's clothes while alerting them with a siren and shouted warnings that you're doing it. Great for prison aficionados who want to go to jail but don't know how.
The Galvanized Gibus
Level 1-100 Hat
Elegant simplicity and old-world charm combine with the intoxicating aromas of methyl alcohol and gasoline. Do not wear in unventilated areas.
Rimmed Raincatcher
Level 1-100 Hat
Because there's no alliteration
like alliteration with an 'ARR!'
like alliteration with an 'ARR!'
Store price: $4.99
The Spine-Chilling Skull 2011
Level 31 Hat
Re-express your undying hatred for the living annually with this skull-themed hate hat.
- This is a special Halloween 2011 item
- Styles: Spine-Tingling, Spine-Cooling, Spine-Twisting
Master Mind
Level 1-100 Hat
Science fact: the human brain is 70% more effective when exposed to oxygen. Fashion fact: the human brain is 90% cooler-looking when you glue lots of Radio Shack stuff to it. Finally, an item that capitalizes on both.
Store price: $4.99
Sir Hootsalot
Level 1-100
If owls are so smart, why did this one let you glue it to your shoulder? Come to think of it, neither one of you is looking like a super-genius on this one.
- Styles: Wilderness, Snowy
Store price: $4.99
The Stealth Steeler
Level 1-100 Hat
Has back-stabbing lost its charm? Is sneaking too simple? Try wearing this 15 pound metal hat on your head! Enjoy the meta-challenge of keeping your neck from snapping as you sap sentries! This is spine-crushing entertainment!
The U-clank-a
Level 1-100 Hat
Roast this steel ushanka in the fire and place it on your head for sustained warmth throughout the day. Make sure to come up with an impressive sounding fake anecdote for your third degree burns!
The Waxy Wayfinder
Level 1-100 Hat
Finally live your life like a candle in the wind. (Wind not included.)
- Effect: Genteel Smoke
Store price: $4.99
The Toss-Proof Towel
Level 1-100 Apparel
Make sure you never throw in the towel, even accidentally, by keeping it nice and close, where it can't run off and surrender like a coward when you're not looking.
Store price: $4.99
The Bolt Action Blitzer
Level 10 Hat
Take a knee, boys. Now, any helmet will protect your head when you're wearing it – but what about when you're NOT? The Bolt Action Blitzer solves that problem by securing it to your skull with three one-and-a-quarter-inch coarse-thread galvanized crown bolts. Make sure it's in your favorite color, 'cause you WILL be buried in it.
The Texas Half-Pants
Level 1-100 Apparel
It's pants... Texas Style! These crotchless leather leggings are perfect if you already own pants. Note: To be used as auxiliary pants only. Please do not employ as primary source of pants.
- Styles: Tan, Midnight
Store price: $4.99
The Scrap Pack
Level 1-100 Robot
Why let your front have all the fun? Add more junk to the upper part of your trunk with this selection from the finest junkyards in Paris.
The Fruit Shoot
Level 1-100 Hat
This fun, all-ages activity brings history alive! All you need is a bow, an arrow, an apple, and an idiot.
- Styles: Deadly, Dangerous, Tasty
Store price: $4.99
The Fortune Hunter
Level 1-100 Cosmetic Axe
Whether it's lying at the bottom of a dusty tomb or hiding in plain sight in the cavity behind someone's eyeballs, any treasure is just one swing away with this trusty adventure axe.
The Person in the Iron Mask
Level 1-100 Hat
Turkey? Chicken? Game hens? Your head? This cast iron poultry furnace will smoke anything placed inside it.
The Sydney Straw Boat
Level 1-100 Hat
Throw this hat on the ground to express rage, or in the air to express joy! Take a hat-based trip through time to learn how your great grandparents displayed emotions in the days before emoticons!
The Conspiracy Cap
Level 10 Hat
Don't shield your head from government secrets with a tinfoil hat like a know-nothing chump. Listen in on the private chat lines of our shape-shifting Reptiloid overlords. Find out who wins next year's World Series! Learn what's really in Area 51! Eavesdrop on Bigfoot's late-night drunken calls to the President!
- Styles: Hat, No Hat
- Untradable
The Public Accessor
Level 10 Hat
This broken antenna cap is the perfect receiver for any local radio stations broadcasting up to twenty feet away from you. Tune in to all the hits from local-area ham radio operators, walkie-talkie enthusiasts, and small children with soup cans connected by old wire.
- Styles: Hat, No Hat
- Untradable
The Rusty Reaper
Level 1-100 Hat
Are you the personification of death? Do you need to spraypaint something indoors? This skull-shaped rebreather has you covered.
The Builder's Blueprints
Level 15 Blueprints
Never bring a gun to a blueprint fight.
Store price: $7.49
The One-Man Army
Level 10 Hat
You send that many men against a bandanna like this, don't forget one thing: A good supply of body bags.
Store price: $7.49
Your Worst Nightmare
Level 10 Hat
This bandanna will teach you to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. Like another billy goat.
Store price: $7.49
The Timeless Topper
Level 1-100 Hat
Most hats are made of felt, canvas or other non-durable cloths that decompose after a mere 10,000 years. The Timeless Topper's built for the long haul, with an outer layer of scrap titanium and an inner core of plastic bags, foam cups and disposable diapers.
The Bolted Bicorne
Level 1-100 Hat
One little-known fact about parrots: They WILL peck a hole through a human pirate skull. But they can't peck through solid steel. And if they try? This baby's electrified to the tune of 10,000 volts. Your move, parrots.
Respectless Robo-Glove
Level 1-100 Hat
When that robot selflessly gave you its hand, it assumed you'd study it to advance the field of prosthetic medicine. Sucker. Hey, everybody check me out! I'm a metal chicken! Beep beep gobble boop!
Firewall Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
Learn the secret that firefighters guard fiercely: There is no better hat to wear while entering a burning building than a metal hat. Why? The metal will absorb 100% of the heat, leaving your bare skin cool and refreshed, probably.
The Cremator's Conscience
Level 15 Conscience
'Burn him with fire!' 'No, burn him with fire, then hit him with an axe!'
Store price: $9.99
Shooter's Tin Topi
Level 1-100 Hat
This safari helmet was welded together from actual blood-spattered scraps of jeeps, rifles, shells and fillings discovered at the mauling sites of previous safaris. Wear it as a constant reminder never to do anything as stupid as go on safari.
The Dashin' Hashshashin
Level 10 Hat
When you need to go deep undercover, one disguise is not enough! Put a hood over that ski-mask, then wrap a towel around it. Boldly announce to the world that you are inconspicuous!
The Pyrotechnic Tote
Level 1-100 Backpack
Any day can be the Fourth of July if you just believe. It also helps if you have a bag of fireworks – like the Pyrotechnic Tote - you can set off to distract people when they try to tell you that you can't take the day off to eat hot dogs and get drunk at the park. Is this not America, Samuel? Do we not have the freedom to vomit in our own shoes?
Store price: $4.99
The Lone Star
Level 1-100 Hat
You're runnin' the show in these here parts; you deserve a big hat with a star. The size of the hat is indicative of how much of the show you're running – which is all of it, by the way. Honestly, we really don't know how people get respect without this hat.
The Metal Slug
Level 1-100 Hat
They came from outer space. And they came to conquer. It was the perfect space crime. But there's just one problem. YOU. "The Metal Slug". Rated R. This Friday. On your HEAD.
The Broadband Bonnet
Level 1-100 Hat
This brimless bonnet cap comes equipped with a satellite pom-pom that streams up-to-the-minute news relevant to the on-the-go Scotsman (golf scores, whiskey prices, when "Braveheart" is on).
The Little Buddy
Level 10 Hat
People will think you're in the Navy. But the joke is on them, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT! That is just one possible benefit of this tricky hat.
Store price: $4.99
The Electric Escorter
Level 1-100 Hat
"And it seems to me you lived your life / with a lightbulb in your head / wishing you had cleaned the hole / as the cephalic tetanus spread." – Elton John (words by Bernie Taupin)
The Bolt Boy
Level 1-100 Hat
That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on here even we don't know what to make of it.
The Scrap Sack
Level 1-100 Backpack
Concerned about your many stalkers going through your garbage while you're at work? Rest easy with the Scrap Sack, which lets you keep an eye on your secret-filled trash at all times.
The Pure Tin Capotain
Level 1-100 Hat
Witch-hunting: necessary, but time-consuming. What if we told you you could burn up to five witches a day without lifting a finger? Introducing the Pure Tin Capotain, the greatest time-saving invention since the electric can opener.
The Hot Dogger
Level 10 Hat
There's been a terrible explosion at the hot dog factory! That's what you can tell people, and they'll believe you because you will look like an expert on hot dogs.
Store price: $9.99
The Birdcage
Level 10 Hat
Everyone will wonder what the secret meaning of this mysterious hat is. The secret is you're an idiot.
Store price: $9.99
The Winter Wonderland Wrap
Level 1-100 Mask
Just because you're an unknowable enigma doesn't mean you shouldn't bundle up. Remember what your mom told you... if you even HAVE one, you inscrutable person of mystery!
- Styles: With Stripes, Without Stripes
Store price: $4.99
The Cut Throat Concierge
Level 1-100 Shirt
Trick your enemies into thinking you are the doorman at a classy hotel. By the time they get wise, you'll be miles away with their car and luggage, rummaging through their clothes and laughing at them.
Store price: $4.99
Vintage Merryweather
Level 1-100 Hat
Pyro wears this in tribute to the many firefighters who have perished trying to quell his flames.
Store price: $4.99
Gentleman's Gatsby
Level 1-100 Hat
While lacking the cachet of other hats, the Gatsby nonetheless possesses its own sartorial elegance. Its understated and affable charm appeals to everyone, whether playing a round of golf with friends or performing non-elective surgery with a well-polished bonesaw.
Store price: $4.99
The Heavy Duty Rag
Level 1-100 Hat
It costs $400,000 to wear this bandanna for 12 seconds.
Store price: $4.99
The Rump-o'-Lantern
Level 1-100 Lantern
Since time immemorial man has had two dreams: the dream of flying, and the dream of tricking people into thinking your ass is haunted. Airplanes took care of the easy dream. This miracle ass lantern tackles the other.
Store price: $4.99
Alien Swarm Parasite
Level 20 Hat
This cute little guy was once the scourge of humanity in another time and place. Now he's content to ride on your head and keep the sun off.
The Bird-Man of Aberdeen
Level 1-100
This shoulder-mounted feathered friend comes in any color you like, and is so full of whiskey it couldn't fly off if it wanted to. Great to have around if you decide to eat it—just turn your head and bite!
- Styles: Essential, Distinguished, Imbued
Store price: $9.99
The Liquor Locker
Level 1-100 Treasure
The Demo keeps his fortune close to his chest: Specifically, on the other side of it, strapped to his back. You won't find money in it: Demo wisely invests in gold, which he then spends on rare cask-aged liquors, which he then usually drinks, which is why he keeps it locked and the key hidden.
- Styles: Classic, Front, Right Hip, Left Hip
Store price: $4.99
The Surgeon's Side Satchel
Level 1-100 Satchel
This compact medical equipment bag makes the perfect accessory for the doctor on the go. Treat patients out of doors, in the fresh unsterile air of the battlefield.
Store price: $4.99
Liquidator's Lid
Level 1-100 Hat
This wool cap/granny glasses combo fits any assassin, whether he's saving orphans in heated gun battles with the mob or impersonating lead guitarists in world-famous Irish rock bands.
Store price: $4.99
The Gentleman's Ushanka
Level 1-100 Hat
Made from genuine German rabbit fur, this military-grade trappers' hat makes the perfect complement to the Officer's Ushanka. Let the officer in your life know you'll always be right behind them, with a Medigun at the ready and a matching wardrobe.
Store price: $4.99
The Bacteria Blocker
Level 1-100 Hat
The human face is nature's garbage can. Everything from saliva (make-outs) to grease (engine repair) to clumps of partially chewed beef (eating) to poison (food-tasting for kings) can be found on the average (your) face. Keep it marginally less filthy with the Bacteria Blocker.
- Styles: With Headphones, Without Headphones
The Beastly Bonnet
Level 1-100 Hat
This ceremonial headdress tells your enemies that you have the heart of a lion, the strength of a bear, the speed of a cheetah, and the rotting head of a cheetah.
- Untradable
The Byte'd Beak
Level 1-100 Hat
This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
The Bolted Birdcage
Level 1-100 Hat
You love the hard-hitting Robin Williams/Nathan Lane bird prison drama "The Birdcage" so much you wish you could be thinking about it all the time. The problem: Life's many distractions. The solution: This.
Blind Justice
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
Want to command respect from people standing at an indeterminate distance from your immediate right? Bolt on a platinum Pinkerton badge and experience the thrill for yourself!
The Last Straw
Level 1-100 Hat
Do you love farmin'? Do you hate the sun? Well shade yer noggin, grab yer hoe, and keep yer scattergun handy to scare off any varmints might come a-trespassin'.
Store price: $4.99
The Stereoscopic Shades
Level 20 Glasses
If you close an eye, one of the teams will disappear. So don't do that.
Store price: $7.49
The Menpo
Level 1-100 Mask
Discover the exciting world of the samurai! Speak quickly and angrily! Grow facial hair! Maybe if you kill another samurai and apologize after, you'll get to date his wife! The possibilities are endless!
- Styles: Yuurei, Obake, Youkai, Azukiarai
Store price: $4.99
The Mair Mask
Level 1-100
Comes with a full can of MAIR, Mann Co.'s air substitute! One part nitrogen, no parts oxygen, NINE parts electrolytes—Mair gives regular air a kick in the pants for manly lungs on the go.
The Outback Intellectual
Level 15 Apparel
Argyle. Pipe-smoking. Individually, they make you look like an idiot. Together, they make you look smart AND stylish! Just like Umberto Eco!
- Effect: Genteel Smoke
Store price: $9.99
The Pom-Pommed Provocateur
Level 1-100 Hat
The thick woolen pom-pom stitched to the top of this ski mask is filled with poison, in case you are captured by people who want information on why you look ridiculous.
The Professor's Pineapple
Level 1-100 Science Project
We don't know what's in it, but we found it in some rusty drums buried in a shallow grave in a forest, so let's face it, you'll probably get super powers if you drink it.
The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking
Level 1-100 Shoes
Sure, you're in the market for shoes to help you lurk in the shadows. But once you slip on these natty calf leather spatterdashes, you'll want EVERYONE to check you out.
Store price: $4.99
The Front Runner
Level 1-100 Hat
This commemorative sweatband is a loving tribute to the heroes – and we don't use that word lightly – who live their lives like sweaty candles in the wind.
- Styles: Stylin', Indifferent
Store price: $4.99
The Triclops
Level 10 Hat
Fool your enemies into thinking you can see better! Here's the trick: You won't be able to see at all!
- Styles: Roasting, Blazing
- Untradable
The Doublecross-Comm
Level 1-100 Hat
This battlefield awareness bandanna is stitched with nanofibers that can download battlefields from Wikipedia straight to your face, so you will never not be aware of them.
The Atomic Accolade
Level 1-100 Badge
Skip past all the boring busywork of science and get right to the exciting part: the fabulous prizes! This prestigious ribbon certifies your bravery in the field of excellence.
The Cross-Comm Crash Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
This purely cosmetic battlefield awareness accessory will fool everyone from the lowliest private to the mayor of the army into thinking you're probably in the army too.
The Cross-Comm Express
Level 1-100 Hat
This full spectrum battle monocle receives signals from a satellite at light speed, which means you may have to slow down a little so they can catch up to you.
Mecha-Medes
Level 1-100
Mecha-Medes first appeared in Archimedes' Flights of Fantasy #314 when Archimedes accidentally fell off a table into a parallel world, met his robot double, ate some seeds, squawked in terror at a half-buried Statue of Liberty, then flew into a patio door.
The Tungsten Toque
Level 1-100 Hat
Commemorate history's greatest robot Canadians with this knitted steel cap. Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau! Optimus Prime Minister! Commander Data from the hit CBC drama Deep Space Prince Edward Island!
Platinum Pickelhaube
Level 1-100 Hat
Invented by Nikolai Tesla in any one of his ten million appearances in crappy steampunk fiction, probably.
The Virus Doctor
Level 1-100 Hat
Whether you're a 17th century plague doctor, a professional wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño poppers.
Pyro's Boron Beanie
Level 1-100 Hat
Friends and loved ones will call you stupid for wearing this hat. "Hey, moron!" your mother will say. But they won't think it's so funny when you win the Backwards Swimming competition at the Olympics, and are later stripped of your medal for cheating.
Practitioner's Processing Mask
Level 1-100
Fact: 70% of the air you breathe was recently in someone's butt. This handy contraption runs the farty air you live in through a gauntlet of soapy water and potpourri before entering your body.
Bootleg Base Metal Billycock
Level 1-100 Hat
Trick your friends into thinking your enormous metal hat is a smaller, different hat. If this was actually illegal it would be the PERFECT CRIME.
Texas Tin-Gallon
Level 1-100 Hat
It's a historical fact that in cowboy times, cloth was hard to come by. Creative cowpokes kept the sun out of their eyes by making hats out of what they had in abundance: sheet-metal trees and bolt cactuses.
Titanium Tyrolean
Level 1-100 Hat
Meet the robot apocalypse in style with this puckish number, perfect for infiltrating the sentient mother computer located in the Swiss pavilion at Epcot Center.
The All-Father
Level 15 Facial Hair
Throughout the history of civilization, the white beard has come to symbolize wisdom and status. Show the world it's possible to be bearded AND stupid with this Heavy- and Soldier-specific face-nest. Shove it, civilization!
Store price: $12.99
World Traveler's Hat
Level 20 Hat
Given to generous souls who have donated to community map makers. The effect will only be visible while on a map that has been donated towards!
- Effect: Map Stamps
- Untradable
Rail Spikes
Level 1-100 Spikes
There we were, assembling some collars, when we thought, "Yes, they're cool. But what's missing?" That's when we realized: lots of sharp bits welded onto the round bits.
Store price: $4.99
Nose Candy
Level 1-100 Mask
Dress up your respirator to trick people into thinking you're a delusional maniac living in a fantasy world!
- Styles: Horrific, Happy
Store price: $4.99
Brock's Locks
Level 1-100 Hair
The first time the sun glints off of this manly mane of teased, tousled trusses, you'll wonder why you didn't get hair implants from your lower back and buttocks years ago.
Store price: $4.99
The Battle Bob
Level 1-100 Hat
Simple and elegant, this slimming hair helmet will bring out the natural contours of your fearsome war face.
- Styles: Without Helmet, With Helmet
The Scrumpy Strongbox
Level 1-100 Treasure
This nitrogen-cooled liquor locker can only be opened by punching in its constantly evolving polyalphabetic stream cipher, or with the big metal key scotch taped to the bottom.
The Philateler
Level 1-100 Hat
Congratulations on doing more yesterday to support the TF2 map-making community through map stamps than anyone else! Wear this with pride before it changes hands tomorrow!
- Untradable
The Gifting Man From Gifting Land
Level 1-100 Hat
Congratulations on giving out more gifts yesterday than any other TF2 player! Wear this with pride before it changes hands tomorrow!
- Untradable
The Dueler
Level 1-100 Hat
Congratulations on winning more duels yesterday than any other TF2 player! Wear this with pride before it changes hands tomorrow!
- Untradable
Lord Cockswain's Novelty Mutton Chops and Pipe
Level 1-100 Facial Hair
- Effect: Genteel Smoke
Store price: $4.99
The Ornament Armament
Level 20 Decorative Bombs
Just a like the Soldier's actual grenades, these shiny glass baubles are purely ornamental.
Store price: $4.99
The Head Warmer
Level 1-100 Hat
This incinerator's insulator keeps your head a perfect 105 degrees, while muffling the hallucinations brought on by wearing a hat that slowly cooks your brain.
Store price: $7.49
The Cloud Crasher
Level 1-100 Hat
This paratrooper's helmet keeps your head safe while you jump out of planes. Show those birds who's boss! Teach some fluffy little clouds what they'll get if you ever catch them around your sky again!
The Pocket Pyro
Level 1-100
Loneliness is the world's deadliest silent killer. Next to carbon monoxide. But cuddle up to this adorable firebug, hold your breath, and you'll be free to concentrate on loud killers like car crashes and Freddy Krueger.
Hat of Undeniable Wealth And Respect
Level 28 Hat
Earned by completing 28 objectives in 'The Great Steam Treasure Hunt.' Beware the Cephalopod padlock.
- Styles: H.O.U.W.A.R., Treasure Hat, Bounty Hat
- Untradable
The Deadliest Duckling
Level 1-100 Duck
Every time you fed a duck a breadcrumb, you were financing the Duck Mob. You're implicated. There's no going back now. Take this duck, go to the corner of 43rd, and enter the black Cadillac. When you meet the Don, don't make any jokes about horse heads. He hates that.
- Styles: Capone, Luciano
Store price: $7.49
The DethKapp
Level 1-100 Hat
For centuries, mankind has struggled in vain to answer the question of who built this city on rock and roll. This hat/hair combo finally answers that age-old mystery: It was you!
- Styles: Grim, Stark Raving Mad, Stern, Slightly Off
Store price: $4.99
The Siberian Sophisticate
Level 1-100 Shirt
The shirt and tie let enemies know you're all business. But the short-sleeved vest tells them you're the kind of businessman who can't find a suit jacket that covers your huge guns.
Store price: $4.99
The Chief Constable
Level 1-100 Hat
The best product to let you pretend to be a British police officer since SpyTech's "Scotland Yard" backyard disguise kit.
Store price: $4.99
The Cockfighter
Level 10 Hat
Let all those chickens on the battlefield know you're one bad clucker with this paintable all-class rooster helmet.
- Styles: Max, Lilly
Ghostly Gibus
Level 10 Hat
Dominate a player wearing any Gibus hat, collect the Ghostly Gibus, and take your rightful place on the Halloween-update-related-hat-throne.
- Untradable
Sergeant's Drill Hat
Level 1-100 Hat
This hat is a handy replacement for profanity-filled ranting when you don't feel like shouting yourself hoarse.
Store price: $4.99
The Warsworn Helmet
Level 1-100 Hat
Whether you're a mercenary in the granaries and gravel pits of the Badlands or an immense fantasy world, this helmet tells potential employers everything they need to know: You will do horrible, horrible things for money.
The Bolgan
Level 1-100 Hat
Protect the all-important empty socket part of your face while giving enemies an irresistible target: unimportant exposed parts like your mouth, nose and generally all the non-socket parts of your face.
Ghastly Gibus
Level 10 Hat
Elegant simplicity and old-world charm combined with the heady aromas of mould and grave dust.
- This is a special Halloween 2011 item
- Styles: Ghastly, Ghostly
- Untradable
The Cold War Luchador
Level 10 Hat
The most terrifying Soviet/Latino partnership since the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Cosa Nostra Cap
Level 1-100 Hat
If looks could kill, this dapper fellow would make your head an accomplice to murder.
Store price: $12.99
The Hero's Tail
Level 1-100 Hat
Possibly the result of pigmentation loss due to horrible experiments. Possibly a mop of some kind.
- Styles: Pigmentation Lost, Pigmentation Gained
The Cheet Sheet
Level 1-100
This cheetah-print skirt intimidates on the battlefield while allowing for freedom of movement. Let's be honest, it doesn't do a bad job of showing off those man-curves either.
- Untradable
The Big Elfin Deal
Level 1-100 Hat
You ask me if I wanna be a dentist one more time, pal, I'm gonna kick your teeth in.
Store price: $7.49
The Well-Rounded Rifleman
Level 1-100 Hat
The smooth lines of this versatile number will be instantly vaguely familiar to anyone who's ever seen a train conductor, been arrested in France, or fought in the U.S. Civil War.
The Breakneck Baggies
Level 1-100
Combining the comfort of pajamas with the genital-concealing subterfuge of pants, these aerodynamic trackies will let your enemies know you're a man of mystery who probably got a good night's sleep.
The Powdered Practitioner
Level 1-100 Hat
An integral part of any travel survival kit, this wig will help you escape Disney World if the Hall of Presidents ever comes to life. Comes with tri-corn hat in case Pirates of the Caribbean comes to life instead.
Aqua Flops
Level 1-100 Flip-Flops
While the rest of your body's at war, why not treat your feet to a little taste of the tropics?
Store price: $4.99
Scotsman's Stove Pipe
Level 1-100 Hat
- Styles: Tasteful and Refined, Garish and Overbearing
Store price: $4.99
The Spine-Cooling Skull
Level 31 Hat
Express your disdain for the living.
- This is a special Halloween 2011 item
The Spine-Tingling Skull
Level 31 Hat
Express your dislike for the living.
- This is a special Halloween 2011 item
The Tavish DeGroot Experience
Level 10 Hat
Hey, Joe, where you going with that sticky launcher in your hand?
Store price: $7.49
The Buccaneer's Bicorne
Level 10 Hat
Hoist the mainsail! Buckle those swashes! Get into a swordfight! Pirate captains yell stuff like this all the time, and now you can too.
Store price: $7.49
Bonk Leadwear
Level 1-100 Hat
In 1792, Italian physicist Alessandro Volta invented the battery by mixing zinc, ammonium chloride and molten salt together. In 1932, American soft drink magnate Theophilus Bonk added sugar to this mixture and invented Bonk Cola.
The Filamental
Level 1-100 Hat
Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only your electrician knows for sure!
The Outdoorsman
Level 10 Hat
Chop wood. Eat syrup. Live in Canada. This hat lets you do it all.
Store price: $7.49
The RoBro 3000
Level 1-100 Robot
The RoBro 3000 doesn't just watch your back in battle! Whether you're on the battlefield, out on the town, sleeping in bed or on the toilet, you'll always have a friend in the RoBro, which comes with no "OFF" switch and cannot be shut down. The RoBro even tapes everything you do, whether you want it to or not. It's not even a feature we installed on the RoBro—it's just something it does for its own mysterious reasons!
Store price: $17.49
The Helmet Without a Home
Level 1-100 Hat
Think of this helmet as a fortified, portable home for your head. It's also lined with tin foil, so nobody will be able to steal your valuable tramp-thoughts.
Store price: $4.99
The Teufort Tooth Kicker
Level 10 Boots
These steel-toed dogs were scientifically engineered (in a wind tunnel) by America's foremost authorities on mouth-kicking to perfectly fit the inside of an idiot's mouth.
Store price: $4.99
The Balloonicorn
Level 20 Balloon
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
- On Equip: Visit Pyroland
- Only visible in Pyroland
Store price: $17.49
The Made Man
Level 1-100
A gentleman always has a flower handy to drop on an opponent's grave.
Store price: $12.99
Voodoo Juju
Level 31 Hat
Only the finest leather hats come with tattoos and piercings.
- This is a special Halloween 2010 item
Spine-Chilling Skull
Level 31 Hat
Express your undying hatred for the living.
- This is a special Halloween 2010 item
Wiki Cap
Level 20 Hat
Given to valuable contributors to the official TF2 wiki
http://wiki.teamfortress.com/
http://wiki.teamfortress.com/
The Barnstormer
Level 1-100 Hat
Step into the headgear and facial hair of America's favorite aviator/filmmaker/toenail-and-Jarate collector with this hotshot aviator hat and rakish movie star moustache.
- Styles: Bugscreen Up, Bugscreen Down
Store price: $4.99
The Carl
Level 1-100 Hair
Action stars like Bruce Willis and Vin Diesel have shown us the unstoppable power of baldness. On the other hand, Nic Cage's long flowing hair was pretty great in Con Air. This male pattern baldness wig solves the problem of what (if any) hair to have, by giving you the best of both worlds. Comes with free moustache!
Store price: $4.99
The Digit Divulger
Level 1-100 Gloves
Keep your hands warm and your fingers freezing with these paintable leather and suede fingerless gloves.
- Styles: Leather Open, Suede Open, Leather Closed, Suede Closed
Store price: $4.99
Soldier's Slope Scopers
Level 1-100 Hat
These extreme pro ski goggles let folks know there're be no bunny slopes for this guy. Not with YOUR middling-to-average ski skills. No, YOU'LL be skiing on all the intermediate slopes you can find, thank you very much—hunting out those tasty gradual inclines.
- Styles: Amateur, Pro
Store price: $4.99
The Cold Killer
Level 1-100 Hat
Melt into the wintry shadows with The Cold Killer, assuming the shadows are a mixture of white, red, brown and khaki.
Store price: $4.99
The Merc's Muffler
Level 1-100 Scarf
The perfect winter accessory for those times when your holiday fun escalates into a high-casualty firefight. 90% more blood-absorbent than any other scarf on the market!
Store price: $4.99
Tough Stuff Muffs
Level 1-100 Hat
Frostbite of the ears halts blood flow, and leads to tissue death, gangrene, and infection. And nobody wants to look at your gangrenous infected ears. Cover up those frostbitten abominations with these stylish earmuffs.
- Styles: Montreal Style, Boston Style
Store price: $4.99
Heavy's Hockey Hair
Level 1-100 Hair
Commemorate the age-old tradition of pummelling your opponents senseless on ice by sporting the stylish and practical hairdo of goons and enforcers worldwide.
Store price: $4.99
Ghastlierest Gibus
Level 10 Hat
Way way more ghastly.
- This is a special Halloween 2009 item
- Styles: Ghastlier, Ghastly, Ghastlierest, Ghostly
Master's Yellow Belt
Level 1-100 Hat
Only a master of Jarate earns the right to wear this once-white bandanna, stained yellow from the rigors of a harsh training regimen.
Store price: $4.99
The Fast Learner
Level 1-100 Shirt
Read a book – or at least look like you can – with this vintage educational ensemble. Be the B.M.O.C. (Big Mouth on Campus) of your own make-believe Ivy League!
- Styles: Summer, Winter
Store price: $4.99