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Genuine Shred Alert
Level 5 Special Taunt - Steam Purchase
Harness the unholy power of the Dark One (Yngwie Malmsteen) and crush your opponents with blistering riffs, lava-hot licks and emotionally crippling power ballads!
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Genuine Flying Guillotine
Level 1 Cleaver - Steam Purchase
  • Throw at your enemies to make them bleed!
    Long distance hits cause mini-crits
  • 100% critical hit vs stunned players
  • No random critical hits
  • Style: Thirstier
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Genuine Righteous Bison
Level 30 Indivisible Particle Smasher - CD Key
  • Does not require ammo
  • Projectile penetrates enemy targets
  • Projectile cannot be deflected
  • Deals only 20% damage to buildings
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Genuine Robo-Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box - Gifted
Robots don't just run off oil. They also run off metal things constructed to resemble human food. Why? Why don't you tell me, if you're so smart? If anything, eating a metal sandwich makes MORE sense. Why don't you and oil have a baby that you have shared custody of after you and oil have a messy divorce if you love oil so much?
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Genuine Huo-Long Heater
Level 1 Minigun - Steam Purchase
  • Creates a ring of flames while spun up
  • 25% damage vs burning players
  • -10% damage penalty
  • Consumes an additional 4 ammo per second while spun up
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Genuine Ham Shank
Level 5 Pork Product - Steam Purchase
This makeshift classic is a prison staple. Simply take any common, everyday prison item, like a toothbrush or ham, whittle it to a point, and use it to shiv snitches waiting in line at the commissary for a second helping of ham and toothbrushes.
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Genuine Orgasminaali
Level 5 Rocket Launcher - Steam Purchase
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Genuine Neon Annihilator
Level 1 Sign - Steam Purchase
  • Damage removes Sappers
  • 100% critical hit vs wet players
  • No random critical hits
  • -20% damage vs players
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Genuine AWPer Hand
Level 1 Sniper Rifle - Steam Purchase
This controversial bolt-action beaut is banned in thousands of countries, and with good reason: You could really hurt someone with this thing.
Genuine Red-Tape Recorder
Level 1 Sapper - Steam Purchase
  • Reverses enemy building construction
  • -100% sapper damage penalty
Genuine Freedom Staff
Level 25 Staff - Steam Purchase
Since America was founded over ten thousand years ago, the noble eagle has been its symbol of freedom. Show people how much you like freedom by clubbing them senseless with a golden eagle on a stick, just like Kofi Annan.
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Genuine QuƤckenbirdt
Level 1 Invis Watch - Steam Purchase
A marvel of German engineering, the QuƤckenbirdt is a classically handsome two-tone Australium and tungsten spywatch for the European assassin who likes to be reminded how rich he is every time he turns invisible.
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Genuine Pip-Boy
Level 10 Armband - Steam Purchase
Using modern super-deluxe resolution graphics!
Genuine Russian Rocketeer
Level 1 Backpack - Steam Purchase
The latest in space-primate propulsion, this jet pack has been tested exclusively by apes! We can't stress enough how few human flight tests we've conducted with this product!
Genuine Heroic Companion Badge
Level 20 Badge - Steam Purchase
This badge certifies that you are in the company of heroes. Not that you ARE a hero, of course. Just that you know some, and occasionally they let you hang out with them.
  • Style: Russian
Genuine Triple A Badge
Level 20 Badge - Gifted
The letter "a" is a great letter. We like it so much, we stuck it on a badge. And we thought this gas mask guy looked neat, so we put him on there too. We're going with our guts; it's working out pretty well. Our guts feel like the next item we ship will be...a hat of some kind. Yeah. We're feeling really good about this.
Genuine Balloonicorn
Level 20 Balloon - CD Key
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
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Genuine Heart of Gold
Level 25 Community Medal - CD Key
TF2mixup Community Event 2013
  • Untradable
Genuine Deus Specs
Level 10 Glasses - Steam Purchase
Genuine Marxman
Level 1 Glasses - Steam Purchase
Everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. But did you know that laughter is also the best disguise? No? Well, good thing you're not a cop infiltrating the Chinese mafia, then. Oh wait you are. AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD. Look, rookie, these glasses are hilarious.
  • Style: No Cigar
Genuine Anger
Level 10 Hat - Steam Purchase
Painted with The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime
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Genuine Heavy Artillery Officer's Cap
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
You never fought in the Big One like your great grandfather. But there's one thing you've got that he'll never have: GUTS. No wait. That's what he had. You get this hat.
Genuine Combat Medic's Crusher Cap
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
You never fought in the Big One like your great grandfather. But there's one thing you've got that he'll never have: GUTS. No wait. That's what he had. You get this hat.
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Genuine Hero's Tail
Level 1 Hat - Traded
Possibly the result of pigmentation loss due to horrible experiments. Possibly a mop of some kind.
  • Style: Pigmentation Lost
Painted with Australium Gold
Genuine Human Cannonball
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
Ask any daredevil what they strap onto their heads before getting shot out of a cannon and the answer will be the same: a glassy, unfocused stare from years of head trauma. Head trauma that could have been prevented with this sharp-looking crash helmet.
  • Style: Crash
Genuine Dead Cone
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
You'll stop them dead wearing this stylish traffic cone.
Genuine Stovepipe Sniper Shako
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
This hat is perfect for the sniper who likes to hide in the shadows, then run suddenly from those shadows to go lead a parade.
Genuine Archimedes
Level 37 Mascot - CD Key
Before Archimedes came into the Medic's care, he made his living through wedding dovery. A lucrative trade, but he always felt something was missing. He looks back on the day that the Medic stole that catering van during the prime minister's wedding as the best day of his life. He's been burrowing into the chests of unwitting patients ever since.
Genuine Big Daddy
Level 1 Mask - Steam Purchase
Enjoy all of the benefits of being President (leading the free world, joining up with bank-robbing surf-gangs, steep discounts at fast food restaurants) with this tricky Presidential mask.
Genuine First American
Level 1 Mask - Steam Purchase
Statesman. Scientist. Inventor. Pretend to be all of these things and more with this Benjamin Franklin mask. So life-like, the real Franklin will think he invented another version of himself!
Genuine Cold War Luchador
Level 10 Mask - Steam Purchase
The most terrifying Soviet/Latino partnership since the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Painted with Noble Hatter's Violet
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Genuine Triad Trinket
Level 1 Necklace - Steam Purchase
Clothes make the man, and jewelry makes the man look ridiculous if not worn correctly. This understated gold chain strikes a perfect balance that says, "Yes, I'm wearing a necklace, but I left the tiara at home."
  • Style: Bare
Genuine Mister Bubbles
Level 1 Pocket Buddy - Steam Purchase
Thwart pickpockets, pocket-squatters and cheaters who ignore the rules of the "What's in my Pocket?" game with the last word in iron-clad diminutive pocket defense. Also works with underwater pockets!
Genuine Professor's Pineapple
Level 1 Science Project - Steam Purchase
We don't know what's in it, but we found it in some rusty drums buried in a shallow grave in a forest, so let's face it, you'll probably get super powers if you drink it.
Painted with Color No. 216-190-216
Genuine Quadwrangler
Level 1 Science Project - Steam Purchase
This quantum-collared lab coat includes a handy rubber pipe that siphons blood from your heart, where it is not needed, to your shooting arm, where it is!
Genuine Champ Stamp
Level 1 Tattoos - Steam Purchase
Show Chinese organized crime gangs who's boss by wearing their cool tattoos without actually participating in any of their totally illegal criminal conspiracies! Note: DO NOT actually show your new tattoo to ANYONE in a Chinese organized crime gang.
Genuine UGC Highlander Steel Participant
Level 1 Tournament Medal - Third-Party Promotion
Season 8
  • Untradable
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Genuine Foppish Physician
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
Whether you're trepanning a skull to let out the sickness ghosts or attaching enough leeches to a patient that they'll pass out from blood loss before you cut off any suspicious-looking limbs, this dapper ruffed shirt and coat will assure your patients that they came to the right place for their dangerously insane 18th century medicine.
  • Style: Tie
Genuine Distinguished Rogue
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
This coat does so much of the heavy lifting to make you look like a sophisticated man of espionage, you won't need to wear anything else at all. Watch those heads turn the next time you attend a fancy gala completely nude except for a coat. So jealous. How about that guy calling the police? Is HE jealous? Yeah he is.
  • Style: Tie
Genuine King of Scotland Cape
Level 1 Cape - Steam Purchase
Capes are worn by only the most prestigious individuals. Kings. Dracula. Teenagers pretending they're wizards. Now you can join their illustrious ranks with this King of Scotland Cape. Wear it with pride, and make those prepubescents proud.
Genuine Menpo
Level 1 Mask - Steam Purchase
Discover the exciting world of the samurai! Speak quickly and angrily! Grow facial hair! Maybe if you kill another samurai and apologize after, you'll get to date his wife! The possibilities are endless!
  • Style: Yuurei
Genuine K-9 Mane
Level 1 Spirit Animal - Steam Purchase
The K-9 mane is perfect for tricky social situations. People will either only want to talk about the hat, which means they'll be distracted from that rash making its way up your jugular, or they'll avoid you altogether. It's a win/win!