Join the group for news and announcements
Loadout RSS
6
Genuine Flying Guillotine
Level 1 Cleaver - Steam Purchase
  • Throw at your enemies to make them bleed!
    Long distance hits cause mini-crits
  • 100% critical hit vs stunned players
  • No random critical hits
  • Style: Thirsty
9
Genuine Red-Tape Recorder
Level 1 Sapper - Steam Purchase
  • Reverses enemy building construction
  • -100% sapper damage penalty
Genuine Distinguished Rogue
Level 1 Apparel - Steam Purchase
This coat does so much of the heavy lifting to make you look like a sophisticated man of espionage, you won't need to wear anything else at all. Watch those heads turn the next time you attend a fancy gala completely nude except for a coat. So jealous. How about that guy calling the police? Is HE jealous? Yeah he is.
  • Style: Epaulettes
Genuine Ap-Sap
Level 93 Sapper - Gifted
Mann Co. got a great deal from a nice lady in an abandoned science facility on a warehouse full of slightly used, possibly mildly defective sappers. Unlike our other sappers, the Ap-Sap is sentient, and will provide hours of lively, one-sided conversation while you're trying to work.
  • Attrib_Sapper_Voice_Pak
  • Attrib_Sapper_Voice_Pak_Idle_Wait
13
Genuine King of Scotland Cape
Level 1 Cape - Steam Purchase
Capes are worn by only the most prestigious individuals. Kings. Dracula. Teenagers pretending they're wizards. Now you can join their illustrious ranks with this King of Scotland Cape. Wear it with pride, and make those prepubescents proud.
Genuine Samur-Eye
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
One-eyed Scottish drunk
Dons his helmet for battle
Blacks out, misses war
17
Genuine Purity Fist
Level 10 Cosmetic Augmentation - Steam Purchase
Genuine Huo-Long Heater
Level 1 Minigun - Steam Purchase
  • Creates a ring of flames while spun up
  • 25% damage bonus vs burning players
  • -10% damage penalty
  • Consumes an additional 4 ammo per second while spun up
18
Genuine Short Circuit
Level 5 Robot Arm - Steam Purchase
  • Alt-Fire: -10 ammo per attack and -5 ammo per projectile destroyed
  • No reload necessary
  • No random critical hits
  • Per Shot: -5 ammo
  • Uses metal for ammo
22
Genuine Stovepipe Sniper Shako
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
This hat is perfect for the sniper who likes to hide in the shadows, then run suddenly from those shadows to go lead a parade.
Genuine Lone Star
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
You're runnin' the show in these here parts; you deserve a big hat with a star. The size of the hat is indicative of how much of the show you're running – which is all of it, by the way. Honestly, we really don't know how people get respect without this hat.
Painted with Radigan Conagher Brown
25
Genuine Hero's Hachimaki
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
Painted with An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge
32
Genuine Dead Cone
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
You'll stop them dead wearing this stylish traffic cone.
Genuine Neon Annihilator
Level 1 Sign - Steam Purchase
  • Damage removes Sappers
  • 100% critical hit vs wet players
  • No random critical hits
  • -20% damage vs players
Genuine Scrap Pack
Level 1 Robot - Steam Purchase
Why let your front have all the fun? Add more junk to the upper part of your trunk with this selection from the finest junkyards in Paris.
Genuine Russian Rocketeer
Level 1 Backpack - Steam Purchase
The latest in space-primate propulsion, this jet pack has been tested exclusively by apes! We can't stress enough how few human flight tests we've conducted with this product!
35
Genuine Champ Stamp
Level 1 Tattoos - Steam Purchase
Show Chinese organized crime gangs who's boss by wearing their cool tattoos without actually participating in any of their totally illegal criminal conspiracies! Note: DO NOT actually show your new tattoo to ANYONE in a Chinese organized crime gang.
Genuine Noise Maker - Vuvuzela
Level 5 Party Favor - Steam Purchase
Genuine Croft's Crest
Level 1 Badge - Steam Purchase
This badge lets your enemies know you're as brave as a shivering, weeping, blood-stained 17-year-old British girl.
25
Genuine Noise Maker - Koto
Level 5 Party Favor - Steam Purchase
  • Quantity: 25
Genuine Balloonicorn
Level 20 Balloon - CD Key
Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk.
  • On Equip: Visit Pyroland
  • Only visible in Pyroland
Genuine Marxman
Level 1 Glasses - Steam Purchase
Everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. But did you know that laughter is also the best disguise? No? Well, good thing you're not a cop infiltrating the Chinese mafia, then. Oh wait you are. AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD. Look, rookie, these glasses are hilarious.
  • Style: Yes, Cigar
Genuine Triad Trinket
Level 1 Necklace - Steam Purchase
Clothes make the man, and jewelry makes the man look ridiculous if not worn correctly. This understated gold chain strikes a perfect balance that says, "Yes, I'm wearing a necklace, but I left the tiara at home."
  • Style: Bear
Genuine Merc's Pride Scarf
Level 10 Scarf - Steam Purchase
Wear your loyalty like a brightly-colored noose around your neck.
Genuine Awesomenauts Badge
Level 1 Badge - Steam Purchase
This badge is a sign of acknowledgment from another mercenary group. Just acknowledgment, all right? It's not like they like you or anything. It's not like they wish you'd maybe follow up on that Merc Party Invite they sent you a couple weeks ago. They're stone cold killers, you understand? Also there will be spinach dip at the party.
Genuine Brütal Bouffant
Level 1 Hair - Steam Purchase
This brutally heavy all-class sideburns and mullet combo was hand-sheared from the manes of Icelandic headbangers, woven with sigil-encrusted knitting needles of occult significance, and air-mailed straight out of hell.
  • Style: No Hat
Genuine That '70s Chapeau
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
Go incognito with this sunglasses and leather cap combo, the perfect disguise for infiltrating Huggy Bear lookalike conventions.
Genuine Aperture Labs Hard Hat
Limited Level 10 Hat - Steam Purchase
Produce-powered personal illumination and cranial safety apparatus.

NOT FOR USE OUTSIDE OFFICIAL APERTURE FACILITIES.
  • Limited quantity
  • Style: Aperture Logo
Genuine Robot Chicken Hat
Level 10 Hat - CD Key
Why did the chicken REALLY cross the road? To get hit by a car, stolen by a mad scientist, and transformed into a terrifying cyborg that you can wear on your head. So the next time you hear someone telling you that joke, set that smug joke-teller straight, because you've got the FACTS.
  • Style: Normal
Genuine Human Cannonball
Level 1 Hat - Steam Purchase
Ask any daredevil what they strap onto their heads before getting shot out of a cannon and the answer will be the same: a glassy, unfocused stare from years of head trauma. Head trauma that could have been prevented with this sharp-looking crash helmet.
  • Style: Burn
Genuine TF2VRH
Limited Level 14 Headset - CD Key
So long, squares! Take a hike, triangles! Introducing the Team Fortress 2 Very Rectangular Headset, which brings hundreds of decades of rectangle research and technology to the absolute forefront of your face.
  • Limited quantity
  • Untradable
Genuine K-9 Mane
Level 1 Spirit Animal - Steam Purchase
The K-9 mane is perfect for tricky social situations. People will either only want to talk about the hat, which means they'll be distracted from that rash making its way up your jugular, or they'll avoid you altogether. It's a win/win!
Genuine Point and Shoot
Level 10 Hat - Steam Purchase
The next time someone accuses you of not being a real wizard because you refuse to (read: can't) do spells, poke them in the eye with this magically blinding pointy hat and run.
Genuine Buck Turner All-Stars
Level 1 Shoes - Steam Purchase
Named after the famous Badlands sprinter who set a land speed record for sleeping with other men's wives. Turner designed the shoes to escape angry mobs of husbands, but sadly could not outrun diabetes. Both his feet were later amputated.